Falling In Love Again
by merxluca
Summary: Meredith vows to never fall in love again after losing the love of her life to a car crash she feels somewhat responsible for. Watch her story unfold after a patient encounter that turns her life around. Will she be able to give love a second chance?
1. Chapter 1

Meredith Grey found herself once again in the same on-call room she's been in the entire past week, going over the research papers strewn all over the bed for the umpteenth time. Ever since the accident, she found her job to be the perfect distraction from dealing with what's happened in her life, which is why she decided to lock herself in the hospital and drown herself in her clinical trial that so far didn't seem so promising. Her great obsession with her job; however, had its drawbacks. Meredith found it intoxicating to hear her colleagues' consistent remarks over how exhausted she looked and how she really needed to go home and freshen up. But despite her annoyance, she just couldn't go back to that particular place that brought back the memories of the man she loved whose death she felt somehow responsible for.

"You know what feels nice?", Amelia, who somehow managed to enter the room unnoticed, asked interrupting the silence, "A warm bath in a bath tub and uninterrupted sleep in a bed that doesn't smell like half this hospital's doctors. Remember those?"

Meredith rolled her eyes and let out what she thought sounded like a chuckle at the suggestive comment. "I told you, I'm not leaving here until this trial goes somewhere", she humored Amelia hoping she'd go away.

"Oh well, it was worth the try", Amelia sighed heading out then turning abruptly, "There's a trauma coming over if you're interested. Car crash. Multiple victims with possible head injuries. I know you love those", she teased existing the room.

Amelia has been her best friend since intern year and was the only one who managed to stick around and be there for her when her dark side took over, an occasion that so often happened in her life. The past seven months following Paul's death have been the hardest. Although she's lost so many people in her life, the last one seemed to hit her the most. Before getting back to work, the chief made her attend a support group to help with her grief and after a series of constant refusal and arguing, she finally gave in although she felt ridiculous discussing her feelings with people she's never met before.

Taking one last glance at the papers infront of her, she decided to take up on Amelia's offer and head to the ER for a change. She took one last sip of her coffee flinching at the cold sensation.

The ER was a mess. Crewed with injured patients from the accident. Meredith went over a number of victims moving on to one that despite his obvious state of distress, was relentlessly flirting with the nurse beside him.

"I'll take over from here, Becky", Meredith told the nurse hoping the patient won't take much of her time. She had to admit, though, she found him to be quite attractive. She headed to the cart beside her and took out gauze sponges and alcohol pads. "Hi I'm Dr. Grey, I'm gonna examine your wounds, okay?"

"Is it me or are all the doctors here extremely hot?", the patient with the accent flirted shamelessly staring at her chest.

"You do realize we're in a hospital filled with sick people, right?", Meredith replied raising a brow at him and meeting the set of green eyes that didn't seem to pull away from her ever since he noticed her presence, "and it's not exactly appropriate for you to flirt with your doctor"

"You know you could have just accepted the compliment", he frowned at her, finally taking his gaze off of her. "Flirting.. or should I say complimenting people, is the way I hide my pain".

Nathan watched her face light up, with a smile playing across her soft lips as she let out a giggle he could swear was the most adorable sound he's heard. Although she looked beautiful, she seemed tired. Her eyes were red and her cheeks were flushed. He would have guessed its been a while since she's gotten any sleep. She took her eyes off of his wounds and looked at him deeply. He felt a shimmer run down his spine as his eyes met with her tired yet shiny green ones.

Meredith intently moved her eyes away, tucking the strands of dirty blonde hair behind her ear, a habit she made whenever she felt nervous.

"You have a scalp laceration in your left parietal area", Meredith said carefully palpating his scalp. "It looks superficial but I'm gonna run a neuro exam and a skull radiograph just to make sure everything is normal", she added.

Nathan nodded in agreement but winced in pain. "Nathan Riggs", he suddenly spoke up.

"Excuse me?"

"You didn't check my chart so I'm assuming you don't know my name", he smirked at her. "I figured you'd wanna know considering the way you keep eyeing me".

She kept quite for a while, smiling at what he said then finally broke the silence, "You know since you're already here, maybe we should get that ego of yours checked out. It's pretty inflated if you ask me".

Her comment earned her a smile that played on his lips, making his eyes crinkle at the edges. "Feisty", he said, " I like that in a woman".

Meredith shook her head at her hopeless attempts to put him in place. "Dr. Williams here is gonna take you for your scans.", she told her him with a smile while motioning at the nearby intern to come over. "I heard he takes sexual harassment very seriously", she whispered. "I'd behave myself if I were you".

"See you later Dr. Grey", he smirked as the intern wheeled him away.

"For your sake I hope not", she replied causing him to turn his head and wink at her.

Something about him made her heart tingle, a feeling she's been deprived of for so long. Although she hated to admit it, she really did want the egotistical handsome patient to stick around for a while.


	2. Chapter 2

Nathan Riggs wasn't exactly having the best time of his life. Out of all the things he thought he'd be doing as Head of Cardiotheracic Surgery, attending conferences didn't really rank up high on the list. It's been almost a month since the car crash and he was more than ready to get back to work. Of course, being cleared for surgery also meant he's been cleared for the less favorable side of being a doctor. A side that involved him in his least comfortable tux, sitting in the bar of a fancy hotel, enjoying the short break before he has to listen to yet another doctor talk about a research he couldn't care less about.

Meredith leaned across the bar, looking around before taking out the wedgie she's been struggling to get rid of ever since the doctor with the grim face started talking. She swore to herself she would kill Richard for making her attend this conference on behalf of the hospital when she had a shitload of more important things to get done.

Meredith stood there with a glass of champagne in her hand, casually looking through the unfamiliar faces, waving at those she once worked with. She scanned the crowd catching her breath at that one particular face she never expected to see here.

The man screamed sex, the sight of him rendering her unable to think much at all. She watched him let out a failed attempt at a hearty laugh at something the woman he was talking to said. He looked just as miserable as she was, leaning across the bar in a fitted tux that showed his frame oh so perfectly. Meredith found herself wondering how quickly she could take him out of his suit and have her way with him on the bar stool next to him. His brown hair was a bit longer than she remembered and she thought to herself what it would feel like to run her fingers through it. _Nathan Riggs was it?_ She bit her lip at the thought fighting the urge to turn her daydream into a reality. Her fantasy was unfortunately cut short as she felt his set of green eyes looking back at her. She immediately flinched away hoping he didn't notice the way she was drooling over him. What was he doing at a medical conference anyway?

Meredith pretended not to notice him, avoiding eye contact at all costs, but failing miserably. She knew that once he was done conversing with the other doctor, he would come running after her.

Although he was standing across the room from her, Nathan's eyes were glued at her body, studying her from head to toe. Of all the other doctors, Meredith Grey was the one chosen to represent Grey-Sloan Memorial. He could swear it felt like the universe has given him another chance to get her to go out with him. She looked insanely hot. A knee-length black dress clung tightly to her figure showing her perfectly-shaped curves. His eyes roamed along her lace covered chest, appreciating the little cleavage shown, as her dark blonde waves fell across her shoulders effortlessly. He let out a chuckle at how she adorably fidgeted in her place when he caught her eyeing him... _again_. Her breathtaking form was soon obstructed by the guy that shamelessly walked up to her either to flirt with her or bore her with medical talk. Nathan was struck by a hint of jealousy as he threw back the remainder of his scotch before slamming the glass down on the bar top beside him. He saw her smile from the distance, letting out the same giggle he constantly hoped he'd hear again. He gathered the guts to find an escape route out of the extremely borning conversation he's been trying so hard to keep up with, walking over to where she was standing observing her movements.

"Well hello there, Dr. Grey", Nathan greeted her with a big smile, not minding the person with her.

"Hello Dr...", _**Riggs**_. _Nathan Riggs_.

"Riggs".

"Riggs, right. Its nice to see you again".

"Likewise", he nodded at the other guy who instantly got the memo and walked away. "You look like you're enjoying yourself".

"I actually was.. and then _you_ showed up", she replied as she downed the contents of her drink signaling the bartender for a refill. "Are you stalking me or something?"

Nathan laughed at her reply and Meredith found herself yet again cursing herself for being turned on by his fucking laugh. "Yes. I am. I actually called the hospital and asked for your phone number. And when they refused to give it to me I sneaked in and looked up your schedule and found out you were coming here, so I decided to follow you because, you know, I really enjoy being at those things".

Meredith rolled her eyes, "You never said you were a doctor".

"I don't go around telling people what i do for a living".

"Well yeah, but as a doctor, you'd think you'd wanna take interest in the way you were being treated", She answered simply.

"Not if your doctor was as hot as mine", he smirked, "..and one of the best neurosurgeons in the world ofcourse. I'm a huge fan of your work by the way". He really was. Meredith Grey was one of the most brilliant female surgeons in the country. Although she was the daughter of a world-known legend in medicine, she managed to create her own reputable name. Doctors her age weren't as highly achieved and didn't have their names mentioned in medical journals. Ever since the brilliant technique she used to treat the guy on her flight with the brain bleed, Meredith earned her excellent reputation. She did extremely complicated surgeries, invented some of her own, and even started her own clinical trial.

Meredith smiled at his compliment, "Thanks".

"Anytime", he smiled back in awe at the way she blushed. "So what do you say I get you out of this horrible place and take you out for dinner?" he stepped dangerously close to her drugging her with the scent of his aftershave.

She looked him in the eyes noticing how they've become a shade darker. "As tempting as your offer sounds, I'm gonna have to pass. Richard begged me to make a good impression of the hospital and leaving halfway through isn't exactly doing so", she said placing her hand on his chest as she pushed him away.

She was impossible. The most stubborn woman he's ever met in a way that made her so fucking sexy. For someone as petite as her, she was extremely bossy. He fought the urge to hold her gentle hand which felt so perfect against his chest and kiss her lips that were covered with a touch of light lipstick. Her lips were moving again. Probably giving some more excuses on why she can't have dinner with him.

"..even if i did wanna ditch this conference you'd be the last person I'd do it with".

"I thought we had a moment back there", he joked pretending to be confused, "I complimented you and you thanked me. Wasn't that us getting along for once?"

"Your idea of getting along is me thanking you for calling me a good doctor?", she smirked at his amusing demeanor.

Nathan nodded then shrugged smiling back at her.

"Fine. I'll have dinner with you. Only because I'm starving and salmon bites and bruschettas aren't doing it for me", she suggested childishly getting off the stool leaving him stunned by her unexpected response.

He was damned. It was only the second time he's met with her and she already had him wrapped around her finger. He found himself walking at her lead as she gave him an incredible view of her perfectly-shaped ass.

"So where are you taking me?", she looked back at him noticing him glance at her ass then look away when she caught him.

"Unbelievable! I give you a chance at being a gentleman and yet you feel the need to dirty everything up", she shook her head disappointingly.

"It's not my fault you're walking infront of me. Its an uncontrolled reflex. Out of my hand. You cant really blame me for it", he innocently shrugged at his attempt of justifying himself.

Meredith sighed. Not that she minded the dirty looks he gave her, hell if he knew the thoughts she was having about him, he'd be the one criticizing her.

Nathan stopped a cab opening the door for Meredith to get in. The drive to the restaurant was relatively quiet with each of them silently stealing glances at the other. Somehow Meredith's sitting position had managed to hike her dress up further, giving Nathan a perfect glimpse of the skin of her lower thighs. His inner struggle was apparent in his eyes as he tried to tear his gaze away but even if he had been able to, the growing bulge beneath his pants would give him away. She was a drug. Nathan rarely ever got turned on by this little revelation yet he found his bulge painfully growing at the sight.

Meredith sat there quietly observing the unfamiliarity of the background. She looked over at nathan noticing him fidget anxiously in his seat in discomfort. "You okay?"

He couldn't be caught. She would probably think he was some sort of perve solely interested in getting in her pants. He just couldn't.

"Yeah! just a little hot that is all", was all he managed to say as he let down the windows.

He looked stiff. Awfully quiet unlike his usual self. There was something..oh god is that.. he is hard.. and _big!_

Meredith looked away instantly as she tried to avoid thinking about the fuckable horny man next to her. Meredith often felt bad that guys had to suffer with the fact that people could tell when they were aroused. Damn if she got a boner everytime she was turned on, she would have gotten one the moment she laid her eyes on him at the hotel. They both let out a sigh of relief as the cab let them down at their destination. Meredith watched Nathan overpay the cab driver then walk towards her. In someway he was able to cover his now not very apparent bulge as they were lead by the hostess to an open table. They sat in their seats awkwardly, both struggling to let go of the little cab "incident".

"I've never tried this restaurant before ", Meredith pointed out looking through the menu in attempt to break the uncomfortable silence.

"Yeah? It's my favorite. One of the bests in LA actually".

"Didn't pick you for the fancy restaurants type", she raise her brow still shuffling in the menu.

"What? I'm gonna try to not to be offended there".

"Well you shouldn't!", she said convincingly, "it's actually a good thing that I think you're not".

"Thanks", he shook his head.

She was really beautiful. He found himself observing her every move. The way she was so focused while going over every choice on the menu, occasionally asking his opinion about some of the dishes. Strands of blonde hair fell across her face and he fought the urge to tuck them behind her ear. "You look beautiful, by the way", he stammered avoiding eye contact.

"Thank you. You don't look too shabby yourself", she giggled at his cute gesture. "So, since it's your favorite restaurant, what do you recommend I have?"

"The Steak Au Poivre they have is pretty great".

"I'll have that then".

Nathan motioned the waiter to take their orders and they resumed to making small talk while they waited for their food to be served.

Meredith was happy. It's been a long time since she's been able to open up to someone like she did with Nathan. He was easy to talk to and something about him made her feel very comfortable. He was also right. The food was indeed exquisite.

Nathan asked for the bill after which they walked out the restaurant alongside each other.

"So, I should get back to my hotel".

"I'll go with you", he said nervously, "to drop you, I mean. If you want me to".

"We could share a cab".

Nathan nodded waving for a cab to stop before the both of them got in.


	3. Chapter 3

Meredith enjoyed Nathan's company. They talked about their common hate for medical conferences and how they only attended them to keep their jobs. Although Nathan was still distracted by her revealing dress, he was able to keep better composure of his body.

"It's still kinda early", Meredith said minutes before arriving to her hotel, "do you wanna come up for a drink or something?"

"Do you want me to?", Nathan asked hesitantly not wanting to come too strong.

"Not if you're tired. It must have been a long day for you and you probably need the rest, you know, after your flight and all that and-", she rambled.

"I'll come up for a drink", he said simply, flashing her with the cute dimples that matched his charming smile.

"Okay"

Meredith lead the way to her room dragging Nathan along with her. She wasn't planning for sex. Or maybe she was but that was not the only reason she invited him in. He kind of became her friend, a friend she wanted to fuck maybe, and she wanted to take advantage of his presence to keep her company.

He wanted to do all sort of things to her, yes. But as far as he was concerned, all she wanted was a drink and he was willing to solely give her that. They got into the room where her stuff were strewn all over.

"I'm not exactly the tidiest person, you should know that about me".

"I can live with that", he let out a chuckle.

Meredith put out the free drinks that came along with the room pouring Nathan some in a glass and handed it to him.

"So, what was it like?"

"What was what like?"

"Growing up having Ellis Grey as your mom?"

"It was okay, I guess", she answered obviously wanting to change the subject. Her relationship with her mother was something Meredith Grey didn't really enjoy discussing with anyone, and has only shared with only a number of people, including her therapist.. and Paul.

"Okay?"

"She doesnt exactly win the best mom award, but she tried at least".

"Okay", he said, sensing her discomfort.

"What about you? Where did you grow up?"

"I was born in New Zealand", he answered taking a sip of his drink, "My parents moved to Seattle when I was twelve. They were good parents. Did their best to get me into med school and now here I am".

"They must be really proud".

"They are. Except when it comes to my personal life. Apparently I'm now an old man who's gonna die alone if I dont make an effort", he laughed.

"So you're single?", she asked, immediately regretting her not-thought-through question.

He chuckled. "You could say that. You're a doctor, you know how it's like. I barely have time for myself let alone commit to someone else".

"Yeah, I get that", she nodded remembering the constant fights she had with Paul whenever she missed their date nights or showed up at 6 am just when he was about to get ready for work.

There was a moment of silence when neither had anything to say so they just sat there on the couch glancing at each other. If neither had any control over themselves, they would already be on the third round of sex, but they both promised not to give in to their desires. _Or did they?_

"So I should probably get going", Nathan finally said.

"Yeah probably", she replied getting out of where she was sitting following him to the door.

"I had a good time", he told her with a smile, "Goodnight, Meredith".

"Goodnight", she managed to say just when she pushed him against the door, pinning his body with hers letting his hands roam her body, no holding back. She was bossy. Even when it came to sex, she took control.

He tried to switch positions, get her to be the one against the door, but was too weak at her touch. Nathan kissed a path all the way from her mouth to the sensitive point on her collarbone. She let out a moan and panted into his ear as he finally gathered the strength to spin her around and pin her hands above her head against the wall. He moved a free hand over her delicate body caressing her thighs then resting it on her ass and giving it a gentle squeeze. Their lips connected again devouring the taste of alcohol they had moments ago as they stumbled back into the room looking for something to hold on to. Nathan's hands trailed down her back trying to locate a zipper as her hands worked on getting him out of his suit. Meredith wrapped her legs around his waist and his hardness came in contact with her dripping wet center. Nathan lifted her up smiling against her lips in triumph at her deep moans and placed her on the counter while he stood between her legs. Her back rested against the mirror as she ran her hands along his now bare chest all the way to his stomach stopping at the top of his zipper. She rubbed his cock from above his pants and he let out a primal growl at the contact. She pushed his pants down with her foot along with his boxers appreciating the view that came into sight.

"You're so big", she moaned into his mouth as she stroked his huge cock.

"Can't complain about hearing that", he managed to spit out as he nibbled on her ear with his hands finally succeeding in tearing her dress off her body. He sneaked his hand into her panties, running his fingers over her dripping wet folds eliciting a satisfied moan out of her. He dipped a finger inside her with his thumb rubbing against her clit. She took off her panties with whatever strength she had as he added a second then third finger inside her, "I need you".

"Tell me what you need", he whispered as he stared into her dark unfocused eyes as her moans started to get even louder.

"You. I need your cock inside of me".

At her demand, Nathan carried her onto the bed unclasping her bra and his mouth attacked her sensitive nipples.

"Hmm, keep talking", he ordered her while his mouth traveled down her body along her stomach and stopping at her center. She yanked at his hair as he placed soft kisses on her inner thighs purposefully bypassing her dripping pussy. "Ever since the conference", she said taking deep pants in between sentences, "I've been thinking about this".

"We do have a lot in common". She hooked her legs around her shoulder pushing his face into her center hoping he would relief her pain.

"Amazing. You taste amazing", he panted as he started nibbling on her wet pussy running his tongue along her clit. "You're so wet and ready for me".

"Oh god, you're so good", he added two fingers as his tongue licked her hot juices. "Harder. Fuck".

He moved his fingers in and out of her hitting all her pleasure spots while his thumb continued massaging her clit.

"Fuck Nathan I'm almost there", he picked up the pace of his fingers adding yet another one as he looked up at her face appreciating the way she was panting with her hands clinging the sheets. She was close. Very close he could feel it. Nathan replaced his thumb with his tongue, placing long licks on her clit. He felt Meredith shaking underneath him, her knees closing around his head.

"Yes. Yes. Thats it I'm cumming. Fuck", she was but he didn't stop. He put out his fingers and replaced them with his mouth as he hungrily devoured the aftermath of her first orgasm eliciting a second one.

"N-Nathan. Yes yes yes. Right there. I'm fucking coming again. Yes", she shook as another wave came over her.

Nathan came up to her eye level smiling at his work as she panted breathlessly. "On a scale of one to ten, how good am I?", he smirked.

"You're okay".

Nathan positioned himself between her legs placing his cock at the entrance of her pussy. "Okay? a minute ago I was OH GOD AMAZING"

"Don't flatter yourself", she answered pushing his ass into her with her legs.

Nathan pulled back rubbing her clit with the head of his dick keeping composure of his animalistics groans. "Say I'm amazing", he panted hoping she would give in so that he could finally enter her.

"No", she panted stubbornly.

"No? No cock for you then", he said getting up from between her legs.

"Fuck you. Oh god fuck me you asshole".

"Amazing?"

"Yes! Amazing"

"That's my girl", he answered proudly as he pushed himself into her in one deep thrust. "Oh my god, you feel so fucking good". He closed his eyes at the impact of her tight folds around him.

"Tell me what I feel like", she told him holding his face forcing him to open his eyes and look into hers.

"Tight. So fucking tight and wet", he spat.

He slowly picked up the pace feeling his own orgasm building up.

"Harder! Harder! Faster!", she shouted.

"Yes yes yes. Fuck Mer".

"Deeper! Almost there!"

He placed his hands on her thighs, pushing tgem further to get a deeper angle into her. "Fuck YES", he groaned at the new depth.

"Are you on birth control?" he asked nervously knowing he was close to release. "I'm clean. I swear"

"Yes. Yes. Cum for me".

"I'm cumming", he said as his cock pushed in and pulled out at a very fast pace.

Nathan held her hips in place as he felt himself spill his seeds inside of her. He stayed in her for a moment as she finally mustered the energy to open her eyes. Her lips looked so kissable and he gave her one last passionate kiss before pulling out and rolled over beside her, the both of them panting heavily.

"Oh wow, you.. are.. amazing", he smiled at her.

"not so bad yourself", she smiled back.

They lay there beside each other, trying to catch their breaths before one of their phones rang.


	4. Chapter 4

It was probably the hospital. Richard wondering how she's holding up. Or Amelia. Wanting to know whether there were any cute guys at the conference. Nathan handed her her phone from the purse she earlier disgarded on the couch. Meredith rolled her eyes when she saw then name of the caller.

"Hey Amelia.."

Nathan couldn't hear what the other person was saying so he just laid there, staring at the way Meredith was deeply involved in the conversation.

"They're probably in the the glass cupboard in my office".

She was so fucking beautiful. Even after just getting off, she managed to somehow arouse him again. Meredith looked at him immediately realizing he was up to something. "Yeah yeah I really can't talk right now Amelia", she tried her best to end the call, "I have some papers I need to study".

Nathan smiled at her mischievously getting on top of her. He took the cellphone out of her hand, put it on speakerphone, and placed it on the other side of the bed. He took a strong grip of her hands and raised them above their heads pinning them to the pillow. With one hand, he kept her wrists together and let his free hand travel across her flat stomach. He kept moving his hand lower until it met with her damp pussy. He ran two fingers over her clit massaging the bundle of nerves as he watched her lose the ability to form words.

"Amelia you uh.. should hang up.. now please".

"Are you okay? You don't sound so good? Oh god are you coming down with a fever too?"

Nathan smirked looking down, watching the was his fingers moved in and out her pussy glistening with her abundant juices. He then looked Meredith in the eyes anticipating her response.

"guess.. so", were the only words she managed to form as she tried her best to stifle her moans. She tried to yank her wrists away from his grip but felt so helpless infront of his strength. She was going to kill him. As soon as he got her off, she was planning on biting his penis off. But he just smiled. Smiled at the sight of her helplessy writhing at his touch begging him with her eyes to let her go.

"Okay, I'll just call you later then. Bye Mer!"

"Bye Amy", she said after which she let out a loud moan. "You fucker oh god!"

He quickened the pace of his fingers as she neared her orgasm. He licked her lips with her tongue accompanying them with soft pecks. She opened her mouth anticipating a passionate kiss but was met with disappointment when she opened them to find Nathan watching her amusingly. She whimpered at his torturous musings, panting at her upcoming orgasm.

"Cum for me", he ordered her. "Cum for me and I'll make you cum some more".

Just when she was on the edge of letting go, nathan positioned his cock on her opening, pushing in without warning.

"YES YES YES", she shouted, "I'm cumming!"

"Fuck! You feel so good. So fucking good".

Nathan felt her walls clench around his cock and watched her throw her head back in pleasure. He kept on thrusting despite the extreme tightness engulfing him which stimulated yet another orgasm out of her. Nathan came releasing his hot juices inside of her once again.

"Im. Gonna. Fucking. Kill. You"

He laid beside her smiling at her comment.

"I'm pretty sure you mean to thank me", he said in pants.

"That too".

Meredith woke up a few hours later following their fourth maybe fifth round of hardcore fucking. She stretched her arms looking over to find Nathan passed out on the bed beside her. It's been a while since she's woken up next to a guy other than Paul. Eight months to be precise. It was like she almost forgot how to act once she woke up after a one night stand.

She still owed him an orgasm from the night before. She sneaked under the covers positioning her head over his groin. Meredith held Nathan's cock in her hand, gently stroking it up and down covering its tip with her mouth. She felt his dick slowly grow at her touch as she cupped his balls with her free hand. Nathan's eyes popped open at the impact when he felt her taking him whole into her mouth before sliding him all the way back out. She gave him several rhythmic strokes eliciting an animalistic growl from him.

"Meredith! Fuck!", he groaned as he tangled his fingers in her hair begging her for relief.

"How close are you?", she teased.

"So fucking close, you have no idea. I'm almost there. Faster".

At that, Meredith stopped sucking and came up to him. "Beg", was all she said.

Nathan was breathless. He couldn't let her win. His cock was throbbing for release. He was seconds away from him orgasm but of course she had to get back at him. He did see this coming. The night he spent with Meredith has taught him that he can't win. She was in charge. She had to win.

"Please finish me".

"Not enough", she teased. "You need to be more specific".

"Please.. suck me off. Suck me with your amazing mouth. I beg you. Relief me from my pain", he begged her sneaking his hand to his cock giving it a little stroke. Meredith pushed his hand away replacing it with her mouth. He could hear her sucking it. Moaning and slurping at the abundant juices. The vibrations of her moans only trigged him, causing him to give in. She felt him explode in her mouth, hot cum shooting down her throat. She swallowed him clean then collapsed in the bed next to him.

"Good morning", she greeted him.

"You have no idea".

"I need to shower", she said getting up of the bed.

"Well look at that! So do I!"

"No no no", she shook her head pushing him away from her, "I have a conult at Cedars-Sinai and you need to get back to your hotel".

"Fine", he pouted.

Meredith giggled at his childish gesture. "You're such a child".

She noticed a glimpse of disappointment on his face. "Raincheck, maybe?"

"Raincheck", he smiled exiting her hotel room.

This was big. Meredith Grey didn't make future plans with her one night stands. Maybe she could just change her hotel and avoid him for the rest of her stay. But she couldn't. Nathan has somehow managed to grow on her, and she wasn't ready to let go of him just yet.

 **More about Mer's past in the next chapter.**

 **Reviews make my day :))**


	5. Chapter 5

**Eight months ago**

 _She was probably gonna bail on him again. Or show up an hour or two late then make up excuses on how they needed her for a consult. Or that a patient needed an emergency surgery and she was the only one on-call. He sits there with the small velvet box in his hand, coming up with a list of reasons why he wanted this. Why he needed her. Why she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He takes one final look at the tiny ring infront of him, glancing at his watch, before he throws the box back into his pocket with a sigh. As much as it'd destroy him to do it, it was either she'd show up in the next ten minutes or he'd end it._

 _She doesn't show up. He picks up his phone dialing her number for the tenth time that day maybe she's gathered the guts to confront him._

 _"Hiiii Paul", he hears her sing from the other side of the phone. She is drunk. Maybe lost a patient and attempted to drink her emotions away._

 _"Where are you Meredith?", he asks her trying his best to maintain a low tone despite his raging anger,"We had plans, remember?"_

 _"I think I'm drunk. Veryyyy drunk", she tells him in between hiccups. "Joe says you should come take me"._

 _"Stay where you are. I'll be there in a sec"._

 _That was the way things were, or at least have become the last couple of months of their relationship. She did irresponsible things, and he had to be the one to take reponsibility of her actions. It was suffocating to be around her; but he was so madly in love with her to walk away._

 _Paul walks into Joe's bar, immediately spotting her from the distance. He puts a grip on her arm and wraps his own around her waist to steady her. "How much did you have to drink?"_

 _She struggles to put one foot infront of the other as she pushes him away in defiance, "I lost track", she laughs letting out another hiccup._

 _He leaves his car in the parking of the bar and walks her into hers knowing she'll be needing it to go to work the following day._

 _"You need to stop doing this, Mer!", he points out in disappointment although knowing she won't remember any of this conversation tomorrow. "I'm done babysitting you. You're my girlfriend, not my child!"_

 _She mumbles something under her breath then rests her head against the seat, turning around to face him. "Thank_ you _Paul for taking care of me", she tells him as she extends her hand to caress his face. "You're always there for me when I need you"._

 _Paul looks at her, touched by her unexpected sentiment. He shakes his head realizing she isn't sober and probably doesn't realize what she's saying._

 _The rest of the ride goes awfully quite, with only Meredith's soft snores to be heard. Paul slows down at a stop sign, glancing over at Meredith for a moment. She was breathtaking. With all her flaws, he still needed her in his life. He'd be damned if he ever thought he'd be able to break it off. He knew that deep inside was the Meredith he fell in love with. She's been going through a lot lately and he was willing to wait for her forever. Today would mark the third year they've been together. It was also supposed to be the day he proposed to her but she stood him up and got drunk instead._

 _Paul continues driving, failing to notice the car from his side coming in full speed. He barely finds the time to react, his reflexes kicking in as he slams on the breaks, the tires screeching loudly. The car is yanked up in the air uncontrollably not making full contact with a ground until a few flips after. The loud sound of the metal colliding, twisting, and crushing deafens her ears. Shattered glass from the broken windshield is all she sees. Along with blood. Alot of blood. She can't tell whether the blood is hers or Paul's. All she knows is that in her full seven years as a doctor, she hasn't seen this much blood. She looks over at him, adrenaline still racing through her body. She gathers what's left of her strength to push the inflated airbag aside as she moves her fingers to his neck, praying for a pulse. She doesn't find one. She goes unconscious._

 ** _Goodbye Paul._**

* * *

She didn't know how she did it. How she summoned up the strength to carry her body into the shower. The acts of the night before left every limb in her body bruised to the core. Erotic memories came in flashes as she ran the hot water through her body, washing away the aftermath of Nathan's doing. Meredith cursed her luck. Nathan was smart, funny, considerate, and extremely talented in bed. _Why did he have to be so fucking perfect?_ She was finally getting a good grip on her life and then he showed up, making things far more complicated. After Paul died, Meredith decided to focus solely on her job, and not drag some guy into her life to end up disappointing him like she did with Paul. She started her clinical trial a few months following the accident and has been relentlessly working on a cure ever since. But now she made plans. Plans to meet up with him again tomorrow. At least he was a doctor. He would probably be more understanding of her long unflexible working hours if their relationship went somewhere; but she didn't want it to. Meredith didn't want to drag Nathan into her toxic world because she feared he'd end up like Paul. Suffocated and depressed, followed by a tragic death she'd caused.

Meredith walked out the shower grabbing a towel from one of the shelves nearby. She threw on a pair of dark pants and a matching salmon pink blouse, putting on a touch of concealer under her eyes to mask her exhaustion. She headed off to Cedars-Sinai hoping it won't be long before she's done with her consult

* * *

The consult was a success. A twenty-eight year old with a Hemangioblastoma in the posterior cranial fossa; not the first surgery of its kind she's worked on. Meredith recommended a procedure to embolize the blood supply to the tumor through a minimally-invasive catheter-based approach, followed by another procedure to remove the tumor.

It was still 8:30 pm. Meredith sighed in relief as she threw herself on the bed of her hotel room. _"I could use some ccompany",_ she thought to herself wondering what Nathan would be doing at the moment. She picked up her phone and dialed his number hesitantly before it was too late to hang up.

"Hello?", she heard him say.

"Hi. It's Meredith".

"Oh hey! What's up?"

"I finished my consult early and was wondering if you wanted to, um, hang out or something", she told him immediately regretting her choice of words.

"Are you asking me out on a date?". She could almost hear his smirk from the other side of the phone.

"Maybe.."

"I'll be there in 30", he answered happily before he hung up.

She jumped into the bathroom and washed up quickly anticipating his arrival.


	6. Chapter 6

He saw her wave at him when she noticed him coming through the door of the lobby. She looked beautiful. In a pair of casual high waisted skinny jeans and a navy short sleeve shirt. Her hair was pulled up in a semi-bun giving him a clear view of her make-up free face. He watched her walk over to him greeting him with a smile as they walked out the hotel beside each other.

"How was your day?", he casually asked her as they sat in the cab heading to the movies.

Dinner and a movie. That was the plan. She couldn't remember the last time she'd seen a movie or who she went with.

"'twas okay. The patient had a Hemangioblastoma. Poor thing didn't know he had it till he lost function of his legs", she shook her head. "He'll be fine though".

"Hope so".

"How was yours?"

"Long. But okay", he shrugged. "Perks of being the head of a department; work travels with you".

Meredith sighed in agreement. "Tell me about it".

The movie choice was a fail. Not even halfway through and Meredith and Nathan had already lost interest in it. It was Nathan's idea to go for a romantic comedy and Meredith went along because she didn't have the energy to argue with him.

"Would it be wrong", he whispered into her ear wrapping an arm around her shoulder,"if we walked out of the theater right now?"

"Not wrong.. A waste of money, maybe", she giggled as his hot breath tickled her ear.

"We should probably come up with something to entertain ourselves then", he told her, his lustful eyes a shade darker.

"Probably", Meredith breathed, looking into his eyes, anticipating his next move as he got out of his seat falling onto his knees.

"What are you doing?", she panted breathlessly, her eyes not breaking contact with his. He remained quite and crawled between her legs placing his hands on her knees, pushing her legs further apart. Nathan watched her body react while she tried her hardest to keep composure of her body as his fingers moved up to the zipper of her pants pulling them down. Meredith looked around thanking god the row they sat in was vacant. She watched him slide her pants off her legs along with her panties until she sat there naked from the waist down. He rested her legs on the seat infront of them so that he had the perfect access to her center.

"You're gonna have to be quiet", he whispered amusingly as he watched her buckle her hips in anticipation. "If that's even possible".

She didn't answer. Nathan was about to do wonders to her body, and she found herself at lost of words to argue with him.

Nathan looked at the perfect center infront of him. He smiled in satisfaction at the way her juices were already dripping as he ran his thumb at her opening, stimulating a stifled moan out of her. He was gonna torture her. Teach her that she wasn't always the one in charge. He planted soft kisses at her inner thighs, occasionally treating her with a lick on her clit.

"Mhmm", he muttered in between licks. "You taste amazing".

Meredith felt his tongue greedily graze her clit then he pressed his lips around it sucking gently. Even over the loud sounds of the movie, Meredith could swear she could hear the slurping sounds of his mouth sucking at her ample fluid. Nathan grabbed her by her inner thighs forcing her legs open as they threatened to close at the impact.

"Right there.. y-yeah yeah that's the spot", she moaned almost loud enough for the whole theater to hear. Meredith's hands clutched the arms of her seat. She began to pant heavily, frantically pumping her hips into his face desperate for release.

"Ah Nathan, fuck yes.. that's the spot", she told him, her uterus starting to contract violently, his grip on her thighs tightened as he dipped his tongue into her vagina, tonguing her as fast as he can. "Oh god..Oh o-ohh".

Meredith's contractions got uncontollable as she felt her entire body pulsate at the pleasure.

"Cum for me", he whispered feeling her at the verge of letting go. "You're almost there".

He covered her mouth with his hand sensing her loud screams. He watched her pant as she lay her head back riding off the wave that hit her hard.

She looked down at him as she came down from her high, watching the way he happily sucked her lips clean.

"Damn..", he told her with a smirk as he came up from his position and sat in his seat again. "You almost gave us away there".

"Uh.. Wow", she moaned her eyes still out of focus."You are amazing".

"So I've been told", he proudly smiled at her showing off his dimples.

"That looks painful", she pointed out noticing the huge bulge poking through his pants.

"Trust me, it is", he nodded.

"I guess I could come up with a thing or two to.. relieve the pain".

"Please do", he begged her watching her take her turn on the floor. He carefully observed her unzip his pants seductively taking out his hard cock out of its confinement. She held his large member in her hand stroking it a few times before she licked its tip, slowly pulling him farther into her mouth by the second. He fought the urge to thrust his hips as he felt the head of his dick hit the back of her throat. He looked down at her watching his cock rhythmically disappear into her mouth then reappear again as she moved her left hand to cup his balls massaging them gently.

"Oh god", he muttered at the sight he fantasized about ever since he saw her at the hospital. She started moaning at the way his body reacted to her touch, the vibrations sending further stimulation to his upcoming orgasm. Nathan's eyes rolled back at her increasing suctions, his hands automatically finding her head, as he ran his fingers through her hair. She felt him release in her mouth as she attempted to swallow his hot cum.

She came up and watched him ride the aftermath of his orgasm with a satisfied look on his face.

"Now thats what I call a top-of-the-line movie going experience. I don't th-think I've ever had a blowjob at a movie theater before", he told her breathlessly while his hands worked on zipping up his pants.

"I dont think I've ever _given_ one at a movie theater before".

"We both have something to cross off our bucket lists then", he chuckled earning himself the giggle he's somehow grown addicted to. "Wanna get out of here?"

"More than you think", she said immediately getting out of her seat.

They headed outside the theater like two horny teenagers, scanning the place for a decent place to fuck. Nathan held her hand dragging her into the men's room pushing her through the first bathroom stall.

He turned her around so that she was facing the wall as his hands went down to her zipper getting her out of her pants. He bit on the side of her neck planting rough kisses that she most likely was gonna have to hide later. Nathan moved his hands up her body moving hers so that she held on to the wall. His hands traveled under her shirt through her bra, cupping her breasts and flicking her nipples with his fingers. He heard her let out a loud moan at the impact to which he responded by getting his cock out to give it a few strokes before thrusting deep into her. He followed a slow pace at first enjoying the deep groans she made each time he drove his cock into her tight folds. He sneaked his hand infront of her, rubbing at her swollen clit enjoying her wetness.

"y-yesss right there. Rub it. Fuck yes", she panted at the gentle circular movements he made with his fingers.

He tried to stifle his own groans by burying his face into her neck biting at her collar bone in pleasure.

She was loud. And shameless when it came to sex. She didn't care to hide her violent whimpers even when someone on the other side of the door made his presence noticed.

His pace gradually increased, the sounds of his balls slapping against her ass loud enough for the both of them to hear.

"Fuck fuck fuck", he whispered breathlessly from behind her ear, his fingers moving to her most sensitive spot rubbing at the pace of lightning. " Cum for me, Mer. Fuck".

"Oh god yes. I'm almost there. Deeper, faster", she screamed, her head falling back onto his shoulder.

He kissed her ear, his cock at the verge of exploding, as he picked up yet a faster pace moving his leg to get her to open her legs wider. He let out a grunt at the new depths giving her one last thrust before his cock started pulsating, filling her with his hot cum. "F-fuck yes. You feel amazing. So fucking tight and wet".

"God yes".

She was gone. Her legs shaking and threatening to give up on her. He held her tightly as they looked down at their mixed juices trickle down her thighs. He reached out to the paper towel holder grabbing just enough to wipe her up, his hands still on her waist.

"I think we just earned ourselves some dinner", he whispered.

"We did", she said smiling. "We worked up quite an appetite".

They hurriedly got dressed making sure the bathroom was vacant before they got out.


	7. Chapter 7

"So", she heard him say from behind her as he shut the door to her hotel room, "what is this between us?"

"Isn't it obvious?", she raised a brow at him, dropping on the couch in exhaustion.

"The sex part I get", he walked over to her, his features turning stern, as he sat on the bed facing her, "but that can't be all this is".

He gave her a confused look, trying to read her facial expressions. Meredith was a nonchalant person. He's been able to conclude that about her during their little time together. She was impossible to read. Gave zero hints of what she was thinking.

"We've been having sex, Nathan", she told him bluntly. "It's called a fling, not a marriage proposal".

Nathan sat there infront of her in silence, surprised by her sudden haste. "You're right", he nodded in agreement.

" _You're right?_ That's it?"

"Well.. yeah you are. I mean I see where you're coming from. We've only known each other for a couple of days", he shrugged. "and tomorrow we'll be flying back to Seattle then going our separate ways.. So, _you're right_ ".

"Okay".

But it wasn't. This was gonna be their last night together. She wasn't ready to let go of whatever they had going but she also wasn't gonna admit that to him. She wasn't gonna give him the satisfaction of being begged to stay.

"When's your flight by the way?", he asked her.

"8:30"

"Early flight", he said getting up from the bed, "Get some sleep, you need it".

He walked towards the door then turned back to smile at her, "Goodbye, Meredith".

"Goodbye, Nathan", she answered as she watch him disappear through the door.

That was it. No kiss. No hug. Barely even a goodbye. She didn't expect him to react this way. She felt empty. Somewhat disappointed at the way she handled the question she feared to be asked. Tomorrow everything would be back to the way they were. She was gonna go back to Seattle, to the apartment she barely ever stays in and drown herself back into her little bubble of work. Nathan would become part of the past she'll have to forget. That was the plan.

* * *

For someone who was dragged from one state to another as a child, Meredith Grey hated planes. It was something about the hard cushions and the lack of legroom that made her want to gate-check her femurs. She found it miserable to be crammed in such a tight space with the toddler behind her yanking at her hair and the couple beside her arguing over whose fault it was they almost missed their flight.

Just when they were up in the air, Meredith put out her briefcase from the overhead compartment and busied herself with some of the research papers she was supposed to go over earlier.

Last night she said goodbye to Nathan. After he took her back to her hotel, she let him know that its been fun but that was all it was. And instead of watching his face wash up with disappointment like she expected to, he turned out pretty understanding.

"Is this seat taken?", she heard someone say with a voice she's heard much of the last couple of days. She looked at him surprisingly. There he stood. In flesh and blood. Flashing her with his oh so perfect smile and the cute dimples accompanying it. "So.. _is it_?"

"What are you doing here?"

"The hospital needed me early so I booked an earlier flight to make it on time", he shrugged as he squeezed in past her to the seat beside her.

She looked at him, still in shock, obviously not buying what he said. "That's one hell of a coincidence!"

"I know right!", he shook his head at her amusingly.

"And why are you here?"

"I just sai-"

"..next to me! why aren't you in your own seat?"

"I got bored and the seat next to you happened to be vacant so.. win win"

"Unbelievable", she told him before resuming back to her papers.

He sat there quietly observing the way she was deeply engrossed in what she was reading fighting the urge to annoy her once again. "You could at least acknowledge my presence, you know".

She looked up from her papers letting out an irritated sigh, "I usually enjoy my free time on planes to do work, not entertain my seatmates".

"Oh"

"Oh?"

"So you're one of _those_ passengers.."

"Excuse me?", she asked him flatly.

"You know, those who claim their personal space, zone out in their stuff, avoid eye contact to make themselves seem as unapproachable as possible.. you're one of _them_ "

She chuckled but remained quiet hoping he would get the not-so-subtle hint and leave her alone.

"I'll just sit here then. You won't even notice my presence", he told her picking up a magazine from the seatback pocket then crossing his legs silently.

"You do that", she answered him not bothering to look his way.

He sat quietly for a good five minutes before he opened his mouth to speak. "So about last night", he started to say.

Meredith rolled her eyes at his continuous interruption, "What about it?"

"Did you mean it? The _'it was only sex'_ part?"

Meredith finally looked up from her papers at his now serious face. "Isn't it?", she asked him, secretly hoping he would say no.

"I don't know. I want it to be", he whispered. "It would make things far less complicated".

"It would", she nodded.

"But.. it isn't", he told her. "I like you, Meredith. And not just in bed. I like hanging out with you. I like talking to you. It's not just sex to me, and I can't.. stop thinking about you". She watched him rub his forehead nervously as he tried to avoid making eye contact. "I'm in this, if _you_ are".

She didn't know what to say. Nathan had just told her that he wanted to give their relationship a shot if she was willing to and she didn't know how to respond. She busied herself with her wristwatch trying to come up with an appropriate answer as she felt his eyes on her. "Okay"

" _Okay?_ "

"Okay."

"I just told you I can't stop thinking about you, that I enjoy being with you and all you say is okay?", he chuckled at her emotionless response.

"I don't know what to say, okay?", she stammered, her face turning a shade of red.

Nathan sensed her discomfort. Apparently Meredith wasn't the relationship type. He didn't know much about her personal life in the past but from what he has seen, she seemed to be the type who had more important priorities in her life to be in a relationship.

"Okay. So here's how it goes; Meredith, will you go out on a date with me when we're back in Seattle?"

"Yes sure", she smiled.

"You know", he whispered sexily into her ear, "since we're here, we might as well take advantage of the empty bathroom right there", he motioned at the bathroom down the aisle.

"Well look at that", she turned to him, eyebrows raised, "two minutes into the relationship and we're already thinking alike".

"Uh-huh", he managed to say incredulously, his pants suddenly feeling tight.

She got out of her seat and walked past the other passengers then suddenly turned seductively to look him from the distance just as she arrived to the door of the bathroom. He looked around scanning the other passengers before he got up and followed her quickly, hoping his growing bulge would go useen.

Nathan carefully shoved Meredith into the bathroom, his lips immediately finding hers as she wrapped her legs around his waist. He carried her onto the counter with his hands roaming her body, reaching between them to carefully undo her fly. His hands traveled up her shirt pushing it up as he nipped at her nipple. He felt her hips buck wildly into his hard member as his mouth fell on her breats, sucking on them desperately.

"We have to be quick Natha-", he heard her say just before she let out a stifled moan.

He settled himself between her legs and glided her onto his cock. "Yes!"

"Shh.. have to be.. quiet", she whispered in pleasure.

He nestled himself inside of her enjoying the warmth of her tight folds around him. "I love being inside you".

"I love you being inside me", she moaned letting her forhead rest against his.

He rocked in and out of her at a slow pace, his hands moving to her ass as he lifted her then brought him down on his cock. "Hmm.."

They were suddenly quieted as they heard someone at the door. "We.. have to.. quick"

"Yes", she gasped, "Yes".

He picked up his pace, both of them looking down at the way his cock moved inside of her. Everytime he pulled out, it glistened more with her juices.

He felt her open her legs wider begging him to go deeper, "deeper.. so close".

She ran her fingers through his hair as she bit down on his shoulder in attempt to stifle her screams. He groaned into her nene, his hips still pushing at a fast pace. He pulled back to watch her face as she neared her orgasm. Her head fell back slightly as she panted in pleasure, her legs shaking at the impact.

"Oh Mer.."

"I'm cumming.."

He felt her walls contract around his cock as she came, his own body following her immediately.

"Oh yeah.. fuck"

"How does it feel like?", he grinned at her still breathless.

"How does what feel like?"

"To have joined the mile high club?"

"Who said I haven't before?", she smirked at him raising a brow.

"Have you?", he asked her somewhat disappointed.

"No", she giggled as she pulled her pants up and fixed her post-sex hair.

He shook his head at her dressing himself up before they cleaned up the mess they made.

"Come on", he told her as he dragged her out the bathroom door to find the passengers of the front row shake their heads at them.

"Someone's enjoying their flight", one of them spoke up with a laugh.

"More than you think", Nathan answered before he felt Meredith nudge him.


	8. Chapter 8

Nathan held Meredith's suitcase as they walked out Seattle-Tacoma. Despite the short flight they had, they were pretty exhausted. He stroked her arm slightly as they waited for their rides to arrive, causing her to snap out of her bubble.

"What are you thinking about?", he asked her concernedly.

"Not much", she paused. "Its just that.. now that I'm back, things will get back to the way they were. You know, with work and stuff".

"Yeah. At least now you have me to make you forget all about it", he winked at her.

Meredith shook her head at his flirtatious attempts. Nathan made her happy. He always said things that brought out her amazing smile that he longed so much for. He was kind and sweet and was always concerned about her wellbeing.

"My ride's here", she told him as she noticed Amelia's SUV from a distance. He helped her carry her suitcase as they headed to the car.

"Hey!", Amelia told him as she got out of her car to greet Meredith's sexy friend. "I'm Amelia. Meredith's best friend".

Nathan reached out for her hand, "Nathan Riggs. Meredith's.. friend. We met at the conference".

"We did", Meredith nodded attempting to avoid any further conversation between the two of them. "We should get goin-"

"Are you expecting someone? We could drive you to your place".

"Amelia..", Meredith faked a smile at her awkward best friend, "Nathan has a ride".

"It won't hurt to-"

"You're making him feel uncomfortable", she told her motioning at Nathan who quietly observed them with a shit-eating grin on his face.

"I'm offering him a ride!", she laughed sarcastically.

"I'm expecting someone. Thank you.. Amelia", Nathan spoke up politely.

Meredith rolled her eyes at his fake gesture of politeness as he flashed the two of them with an adorable smile.

"You're very welcome, Nathan.", Amelia smiled back. "You should come over some time. Meredith doesn't exactly have many people over".

"She doesn't? I wouldn't have guessed", he looked at her amusingly.

"Bye now!", Meredith waved at him as she grabbed Amelia's arm taking the keys out of her hand. "I'll be driving".

"Bye Nathan!"

"Bye!"

Meredith and Amelia sat quietly in the car as Amelia fought the urge to ask her a list of questions. She stole glances at her hoping she would say something.

"What?", Meredith asked her in annoyance as she drove.

"Nothing", she shrugged.

"Good".

"I was just wondering", she spoke up earning herself one of Meredith's annoyed eyerolls, "You and Nathan.. met at the conference and came back together".

"So?"

"So, you must've spent alot of time together in LA. Then on the plane. It's nice to have someone new".

"Yeah", she muttered.

"He's hot by the way!", Amelia exclaimed gesturing with her hands. "Has got some killer abs!"

Meredith cursed her luck in her head. She had planned to make all the effort to avoid Nathan and Amelia meeting. Amelia was the kind of person who felt the need to know everything and hardly let things go.

"He is".

"So.. did you guys fuck?", she asked bluntly.

"Amelia!"

"What?", she said innocently. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to get the words out of you?"

"Well I'm obviously not talking to you for a reason!"

"Fine, whatever".

Meredith looked over at her, feeling a bit of guilt wash over her as Amelia looked out the window. Amelia has been the one she spilled all her secrets to ever since the day they met. Things have changed; however, or maybe it was Meredith who did. In the last eight years, Meredith had lost so many people in her life, including her sister, her mom, a couple of her friends, and the love of her life. She gradually grew dark and twisty and refused to talk about her emotions to anyone, including her therapist.

"We did", she told her softly.

Amelia looked at her in shock smiling widely. "I knew it! Is he any good?".

Meredith smiled as she looked at the road infront of her. "He is. He's really good", she teased with a raised eyebrow.

"Okay.. give your girlfriend some details here", Amelia nagged in anticipation.

"Well.. It happened more than once.. in several.. unusual.. places", she smiled hot with shame.

"You didn't!", Amelia gasped. "How unusual?"

"Mhm let's see. So there's my hotel room, the oral at the movies, the men's bathroom at the movies, and.. the bathroom on the plane", Meredith said proudly. "Oh and that time you called? He was doing some.. downtown action".

"Eww no no okay I take it back I don't wanna know", she laughed as she shook her head in disgust. "But, at the movies?! You go girl!"

"Uh-huh".

"I need more details!", Amelia insisted. "Are you gonna meet again".

"Yeah. We're kind of a.. thing or something".

"You better be! The guy's incredibly sexy, Mer!"

"He is, isn't he?", Meredith said in agreement as she pulled into her apartment's parking lot.

"I'm having a thanksgiving dinner at my place tomorrow. You should invite him".

"Amy", Meredith sighed. "We just started dating. I'm not gonna invite him to meet all my friends. We're not there yet. He probably wants to spend thanksgiving with his own family and friends or whatever".

"It's just dinner! Won't hurt to ask if he has anything planned", Amelia told her as they got out of the car.

* * *

Although she hated to admit it, Meredith felt good to be back at the hospital. There was something about the smell of the antiseptics that made her feel at home. Nathan had called her to make sure she arrived safely. Which she thought was okay. A bit cheesy, but okay.

"Welcome back, Grey!", Jackson told her as he tossed her a file.

"Thanks", she answered him with a smile.

"Need you for a consult. 34 year old female attacked by a bear".

"Nice!"

"Her scalp was taken off. She needs a neuro exam to make sure there aren't any neuro deficits before I repair the galea".

"A _bear_ bear?", she asked in amazement.

He nodded with a wide smile. "She has pictures if you're interested", he teased.

"You damn right I am!", she replied as she walked away.

Meredith walked into her patient's room with her resident. "Mrs. Stevenson, Mr. Stevenson, I'm Dr. Grey".

"The neuro doc, yeah", she smiled at her.

"Your CT scans showed what we call an edema in your brain".

"Okay", Mr. Stevenson stuttered worridly. "What does that mean?"

"It means that the injury caused by the attack caused swelling of the surrounding tissues, which is the body's normal reaction to injury", she explained. "But since your skull can't stretch to accommodate the swelling, pressure built up in your brain which caused your brain to press against your skull".

"But I feel fine!"

"Well the adrenaline rush can be one hell of a temporary pain reliever. I'll be doing a decompressive craniectomy where we'll remove part of your skull to relieve the intracranial pressure".

"She'll do it", Mr. Stevenson answered almost immediately.

Meredith nodded. "Prep her for surgery", she told her resident.

* * *

It's been days since he'd laid down in his queen sized bed. Three days to be exact. He kicked off his shoes lazily and took off his shirt as he went through the different channels of his tv. He missed her. He had come to this realization when he found himself longing to see her face and hear her giggle a couple of hours after they separated at the airport. His mind drifted through their previous night together, the sudden rush of their porny memories made his member grow painfully hard.

Nathan slowly reached down to unzip his pants freeing his growing bulge out of its confinement. He closed his eyes as he tried to remember the moans Meredith made when she neared her orgasm as he went down on her and the way her fingers yanked his hair as she trembled underneath him. He wrapped his hand around the base of his cock and started stroking slowly. Just as he started to pick up the pace, his phone rang. With his free hand, he reached to get his phone to find Meredith calling.

"Hey!"

"H-hey Mer", he said letting out a choked moan that he immediately regreted not stifling.

There was a moment of silence where neither said anything but he could swear he could hear her smirk from the other side of the phone.

"You okay?", she teased, obviously aware of what he was doing.

"Great!"

"So, what are you up to?"

"Thinking about you", he stammered. "What about you?"

"Not much. Right now I'm stripping out of my clothes to shower", she told him seductively.

"Really?" he asked, his breath hitching at his throat.

"Uh-huh", she answered noticing his breath becoming uneven on the other line. "And now.. I'm touching myself".

"You are?", he asked her pumping himself faster. "And how exactly are you doing so?"

Meredith settled back against her pillows, craddling the phone between her shoulder and ear, as she roamed her own hands against her body.

"Are you wet? God I miss how wet I make you", he whispered, his voice full of lust.

"My b-breasts", she moaned as she cupped her own breasts, pinching and tugging her hardened nipples, sending a rush of pleasure straight to her pussy.

"Pinch those nipples for me like l do. Just how you like it. God I need you", he ordered her as he ran his hand up and down his hard cock, forming a visual image of what she looked like at the moment.

"What would you do if you were here?", she managed to say as she moaned pressing her head further into the pillows.

"I would suck your nipple with my mouth as you beg me to fuck you with my huge cock. God I love when you beg".

"Uh-huh", she said as she moved a free hand down further, edging it closer to her pussy. "What now?"

"I'd trail kisses all the way through your stomach and to your inner thighs. I'd force your legs open before I suck your clit into my mouth as it throbs against my tongue while I enter my fingers into your dripping wet pussy".

"It is.. d-dripping wet for you", she stuttered letting out a groan.

"Play with that clit for me, Mer", he whispered as put the phone on speaker to move his hand to his balls, massaging them while he thought about Meredith fingering herself. "Put your fingers inside that tight pussy of yours".

Meredith moved her finger around her clit moving them in a circular motion before she thrusted one then two fingers in herself letting out an animalistic groan. "I'm so wet. So fucking wet".

"You're so tight around my fingers as I move them in and out of you. Your clit tastes so fucking good. I thrust my tongue into your pussy and force your hips on the bed so that you cum in my mouth. God your cum tastes amazing.

"I'm close.. so close", she cried as her fingers moved in and out of her at a very fast pace.

"Cum for me, Mer", he ordered her. "Ride my fingers. Cum for me".

"Yes yes yes, N-nathan", he heard her ride her orgasm as she thrashed on the bed.

She was incredibly sexy. He couldn't even see her, but the sound of her cumming drove him into his own orgasm as he slumped back against his bed and came all over the place.

They both remained silent as they panted riding out the aftershocks of their orgasms.

"Mhmm", Meredith spoke up. "That was..."

"So fucking hot?"

"Yeah".

"Come over", he told her, still breathless.

"I don't think I can move my legs at the moment".

"Come over and I'll make them better", he teased amusingly.

"How about you come over and grab me some pizza?", she demanded.

"Late night craving?"

"Not the only thing I'm craving", she pointed out seductively, knowing he won't be able to resist.

"I'm on my way!"


	9. Chapter 9

She heard him knock at her door 15 minutes after she gave him her address. She quickly jumped out of bed grabbing the sheets to cover herself, which was pointless knowing he'll have her naked as soon as he had his hands on her. She immediately opened the entrance to her place with a wicked smile, revealing a very horny Nathan carrying two pizza boxes. A sexy smile grew on his face as he feasted his eyes with the sight of her discarding the sheets that once covered her naked body onto the ground.

"I hope you didn't have trouble finding the place", she told him seductively.

He smiled at her mischievously dropping the boxes on the counter before grabbing her by the hips and shoving her against the now closed door. His lips went straight to her neck, a spot he grew addicted to as he assaulted her with passionate kisses. She wrapped her arms around his neck, running her fingers through his hair as she enjoyed the feeling of his growing hardness press against her belly. Nathan lifted her off the ground, her legs wrapped around his waist as he walked over to the couch laying her down just when he felt her stop him and pull him into a sitting position. She reached her hand between them reaching for the zip of his pants, undoing it to pull his large member out of his boxers. She gave his cock long gentle strokes from the tip to the base staring into his eyes as he reacted to her touch. She felt his hands over her bare thighs then on her mound as he flicked her clit with his thumb before parting her folds with his other fingers. He carefully slid a finger inside of her feeling her juices coat his fingers indicating how ready she was for him. With his other hand, he cupped her sore breasts massaging and attacking them with his skilled tongue, the tip of it flicking at her hardened nipples. She rocked her hips against his finger releasing loud moans as she gave his cock one last stroke before guiding him into her. They both panted at the impact of their connection just before he thrusted his hips into her in a tantalizingly slow rhythm. Meredith pushed him back on the couch setting her hands on his chest as she attempted to grind her hips on his cock in slow movements driving him wild. He lay down watching the amazing view of her taking control, maintaing the torturous rhythm as her juices trickled on his member in abundance. With all the strength he could muster, he was finally able to reverse their positions pinning her underneath him, his hips picking up the pace as he watched her pant and moan with her head thrashing back against the couch. He smiled softly at her beautiful features then crashed his mouth on hers, his tongue mimicking the movements of his cock. He felt her tremble under him as her climax grew nearer by each thrust, a fine layer of sweat covering her chest. Nathan moved his hands onto her thighs, attempting to open her legs wider, aiming for a deeper angle. With a couple more thrusts, her mouth fell to a perfect O as his huge cock rubbed against her g-spot pushing her over the edge as she came hard. He continued his relentless hard thrusts just as he followed her with his own mind blowing orgasm letting out an animalistic groan spilling his seeds into her. He crashed down beside her as they panted going down from their respective highs before he neared her, burying his head in her neck planting soft kisses at her nape.

"I missed this", she told him breathlessly turning her head to face him.

"I missed you", he answered her as he tucked the fallen strands of hair behind her ear.

"Pizza?"

He laughed immediately got up from the couch to grab the pizza before he watched her have a food orgasm as she devoured every bite sacredly.

"I could get off just watching you do this", he pointed out amusingly.

She remained engrossed in the slice letting out a muffled giggle at his comment.

* * *

Nathan woke up on Meredith's bed after their late night sex marathon. He looked over to the other side of the bed where he found her still sleeping peacefully, her long legs draped beside his, as she let out soft snores of exhaustion. He observed her beautiful features as she slept, her eyes soundly shut with her long eyelashes resting perfectly at their end, her chest rose with every breath, her sore lips pouting adorably. He made all effort to get out of bed silently without waking her up as he walked out and into what he hoped was the bathroom. He ended up in what turned out to be her office which he concluded from the strewn medical books and magazines on the table. He walked over to her desk chuckling at the very Meredith-like mess of papers that covered the dusty wood. He scanned the room quietly when his eyes fell on the only picture frame in her house. He walked over to the shelf, picking up the frame, confusion building up on his features. A brown-haired guy stood closely to her, his hand grabbing on her waist as he looked into her eyes. A spark was apparent in his what looked like light brown eyes as they both laughed at something she obviously found funny enough to bring out that beautiful smile of hers. Meredith looked much more carefree and rested, her hair a tad lighter and shorter.

"Hey", he heard her say faintly from behind her.

"Hi", he whispered back. "didn't mean to wake you".

"You didn't", she told him noticing the frame in his hand and walking over to him to grab it. She dumped the picture in one of the drawers before she turned to him not looking into his eyes.

"That guy.. Is he-"

"That's no one", she muttered obviously annoyed by his interference.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

" _Snoop_?", she snapped slightly before getting a hold of herself. "Look, maybe it's best if you leave".

He came closer to her, concerned by the sudden tension that washed over her. She flinched away from his touch causing him to pull his hands away and head to grab his clothes from where he discarded them the night before. "I'll go", he told her softly.

Meredith heard him leave, shutting the door behind him. She stood there shaking. She wasn't going to break. She wasn't going to cry. She hasn't shed a tear since Paul's death anyway. Yes she was devastated by his death. Yes it broke her. But nothing. No tears. The people around her watched her like a ticking bomb threatening to explode any second, but so far, that bomb was still intact.

She walked to the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face before she stared at the empty reflection of herself in the mirror. Her face was pale and her stomach flopped as she fought the urge to throw up. She had just driven yet another person she cared about out of her life over something stupid and it made her feel lonely. Maybe if he stayed she would have damaged him with her toxic self and overwhelm him with her miserable past. Maybe he would have left her anyway after he found out she caused the death of an innocent person. Maybe this was for the best. _Maybe_.

 **I'm gonna start writing longer chapters starting from the next one I promise!**

 **Tell me what you think :)**


	10. Chapter 10

_She woke up to the familiar beeping sound of the heart monitor she's been used to hearing her entire life as a doctor. Only this time, she was the one lying on the hard mattress, covered with the stiff white sheets, seeing nothing but the ceiling above her. She tried to move to her side to find something that'll explain why and how she ended up here but was held back by an excruciating pain in her chest that made her groan in pain._

 _"You're awake", she heard someone say from across the room. She turned her head slowly to see Ruby, Paul's sister, leaning across the door. Her eyes bloodshot and swollen, as she sniffed back her tears wiping them away with the palm of her hands._

 _"Wha-", Meredith started to say before a wave of agony washed over her dry burning throat._

 _"Shhh", Ruby comforted her as she set her hand on her shoulder. "You don't have to speak just yet. You're okay. You were in a car accident-", she said as her voice shook,"-and now you're okay"._

 _Meredith blinked at her back in desperation to speak._

 _"I'll get you some ice chips to suck on", she nodded as she left the room._

 _Meredith observed her surroundings. The IV dripped slowly in her veins giving her a drugged sense of reality. She glanced around her room noticing the bouquet of flowers and gifts that were neatly arranged on the counters. A blanket was draped on the sofa beside her indicating that someone was with her the entire time she was down which she still had no idea how long that was. Last thing she remembered is having her sixth shot of tequila at Joe's before getting a call from.. she didn't quite remember._

 _"Here you go", Ruby announced interrupting her thoughts, as she put an ice chip in her mouth._

 _Meredith took in the ice chip before she attempted to speak again. "Wh-what happened?"_

 _"A drunk driver crashed into your car, Mer", she elaborated choking back the tears as she tried to get a hold of herself. "He hit the rear passenger side"._

 _"M-my side?", Meredith asked still struggling to grasp what she's been told. "Passenger side. You mean my side."_

 _Ruby shook her head. She paused as she hesitated, contemplating whether it was the right time to break the news that the love of her life had died._

 _Meredith stared at her blankly as she noticed the look. The look that she, herself, gave the family and friends of her patients when she told them that their loved ones didn't make it. The look she gave her patients when she told them they didn't have much left to live. That was when she knew she has lost yet another important person in her life, and by the way Ruby acted, she knew exactly who that was. "Paul was driving. Wasn't he?", Meredith asked coldly not tearing her eyes off of Ruby's. "Paul is dead"._

 _"Yes", she answered sympathetically pausing to gauge her reaction only to be met by silence. "He was and h-he is"._

 _"Okay", she said almost too cold-heartedly._

 _Ruby watched her stare at her hands. She didn't expect her to break down in tears. She didn't expect her to show any emotions. This was the way she was. Ruby just dropped a bomb on her and she didn't even bat an eye._

 _"Miss Grey. I was told you're finally awake. You got us worried there for a minute", Dr. Bennett said happily as he entered the room breaking the silence. He picked up her file to point out her prognosis. "Have you been told how long you've been down?"_

 _"Not really"_

 _Dr. Bennett cleared his throat as he prepared to talk. "During your accident, your head hit the windshield. The sheer force caused your brain to collide against the internal hard bone of your skull causing a-"_

 _"Subarachnoid hemmorhage", she interrupted. "How bad was it?"_

 _"Thankfully, your skull wasn't fractured. There was minimal bleeding on the subarachnoid which is why you slipped into a coma. But so far, there are no signs of neurological deficits or permanent damage. You should feel extremely lucky", he added, his gentle voice reassuring. "We'll be monitoring you closely for any change and I'll have Dr. Parker here perform further neurological exams on you"._

 _Meredith nodded. "How long have I been out?", she asked._

 _"Five weeks"._

 _Five weeks. Which meant it's been probably five weeks since Paul died. She probably missed the funeral which she somehow was thankful for because she's always hated funerals. She'd always had the idea that funerals were a callous exploiting of the vulnerable state that alive people are in._

 _She stared at the bandages that covered her chest under her gown and those on her arms and legs._

 _"You sustained some pretty serious injuries", Dr. Bennett spoke up. "The accident caused a diaphragmatic rupture. We were able to do a laparotomy to repair the diaphragm. There was no herniation of any abdominal organs into the chest cavity and the lacerations are healing perfectly. Again, you were lucky"._

 _Meredith attempted to smile at his comment despite her pain. The physical and the emotional._

* * *

Meredith dragged her body out of bed wincing as her feet met the cold floor. She forced her legs to move forward stripping as she climbed into the shower. She hated showers. They were so quiet and relaxing which gave her much time to think about her miserable life. She turned on the shower allowing the warm water to run down her aching body. No transition, not even the pull of muscles as she stared down at her feet watching the water go down the drain. She didn't know what to do. Where to go from here. She wanted to end things with Nathan but she couldn't. She couldn't even imagine him walking out of her life. A horrid and painful hollowness filled her abdomen as she swallowed hard over the lump in her throat, willing the flashbacks from the night before to dissipate. She lazily reached for the shampoo bottle squirting some into her hand and onto her hair. _Today was going to be okay._

* * *

"I've been calling you all morning!", Amelia said as she followed Meredith into the elevator.

"I was in the shower", she answered. "Must have not heard the phone".

"You look terrible", Amelia pointed out as she noticed the dark circles around her puffy eyes.

"Thanks. Rough night, I guess"

"So.. did you invite Nathan over for thanksgiving dinner?"

"Yes..", Meredith lied, "He has plans. Family and stuff. You know.."

"Mhmm. Well maybe next time"

"Yeah. Maybe", she shrugged.

"Incoming!", Kepner shouted entering the elevator as they exited it. "We need you two", she said motioning at Amelia and Meredith to get back in. "Building collapsed with its residents in it. Need as much hands as possible".

"Oh my god!", Amelia responded in shock. "Edwards, cancel all my surgeries for today then find me in the ER", she called out after Edwards before the elevator doors closed.

The three doctors entered the bustling ER where victims came in one after the other.

"I've got this one!", Meredith yelled rushing after one of the gurneys into the trauma room.

"Jane doe. Was found under a pile of rubble. Lost consciousness 15 minutes ago. She's in repiratory distress, was having labored breathing and her blood pressure is dropping. Possible spinal injuries to the lower lumbar spine", the paramedic informed Meredith signaling at the neck collar he used to immoblize the patient's spine.

"Can you double check if she has something on her that'll help us identify her?", she asked the nurse who attempted to search her clothes.

"Nothing helpful", she answered tossing the contents of he pockets into a plastic bag.

Meredith sighed. "Her blood pressure is awfully low. This is not good if her spinal cord is injured", she shook her head as she read the monitor. "We need to stabilize her before we take her for a CT", she told the nurse who immediately handed her the pushed the drug she ordered.

* * *

Meredith sat with a tray of food on her lap as she observed the comatose patient infront of her. For the past couple of months, ever since Alex discovered his spacious room that came in with free cable, it became their usual place to hang out in during lunch breaks. The patient seemed awfully peaceful. She often wondered what his story was. Why he never had visitors over. What got him to this state.

"Hey!", said Alex as he fell on the couch beside her. "What're you up to?"

"Just got out of surgery, enjoying my salad", she answered as she poked at the lettuce with a frown.

Alex chuckled at her response knowing her dislike for healthy food. "Obviously".

"Where's Amelia?"

"I think I saw her name on the board.. so maybe in surgery"

"Good"

"Good?"

"Good cause I don't feel like being questioned right now"

"Oh. Nathan."

"How did you know abou-?", she asked surprisingly before she resumed back to her meal. "Ofcourse"

"She said something about meeting him at the airport and how much of a 'gentleman' he was"

"Yeah", she rolled he eyes.

"So..?", he started to ask. "What happened?"

"Don't.. not you too"

"Okay", he nodded.

"I just.. can't with him", she told him.

"Uh-huh"

"He's just so funny and smart and perfect-"

"So I've heard", he said in between her rants.

"but so.. nevermind"

"Come on, let it all out"

She sighed. "I freaked out. Last night"

"Over what?"

"He was snooping"

"Okay.."

"Well not _snooping_ snooping-"

"not snooping.."

"He was in my office.. looking at the picture of Paul and I, you know the one.."

"Oh"

"Oh?"

"So you freaked out because you felt guilty"

"Why would I feel guilty?"

"Because you had another guy over for the first time since..", he pointed out, "and then the picture... it reminded you of him"

"No", she shook her head. "That's not it. I freaked out because I don't like it when people don't mind their own business"

"Uh-huh"

"Ugh whatever", she huffed getting out of her seat. " I need to check on my patient"

"You do that", he laughed.

* * *

"How's she doing?", Meredith asked the intern monitoring her patient.

"She's stable, doing well"

"Any updates on her family?"

"We hung her picture on the board of unidentified patients. No one seems to recognize her yet", he sighed.

"Her face is pretty damaged, but.. someone will eventually ask about her", she assured him. "You go home. Get some rest. I can take over".

"Dr. Grey, you don't have-"

"I have some paperwork to do anyway. It'll keep me busy", she smiled politely.

"Okay then. Thank you", he smiled back before he left the room.

Meredith stared out at the hallway. The calm after the storm. This morning the hospital was raging with doctors and nurses rushing after patients and gurneys.. and now it was over. Except for the waiting rooms where families and friends waited impatiently for news about their loved ones. She looked at the patient before her, her face completely damaged and unrecognizable. She wondered what she'd feel like the moment she wakes up. How she'd react when she looks at her face. Or when she learns her injuries have left her permanently disabled. She wondered if someone will ever show up for her. Or if she even has someone to show up for her. Meredith sighed. She didn't wanna be there when she woke up. She didn't wanna be the one to break down the news to her because she knew exactly what it felt like to be the one who wakes up to the worst news of her life.


	11. Chapter 11

One thing Nathan Riggs didn't do, was break down over a woman. It had been a week since the night she kicked him out of her apartment and he couldn't seem to get her out of his head. A million thoughts had crossed his mind over who the guy in the picture was but he really didn't care anymore. All he wanted was to see her one more time. To smell the lavender from her hair, and to hear her adorable giggle. He had planned on showing up on her doorstep several times to beg her to let him back into her life, but was held back by his friends' constant advice to move on.

"Riggs!", he heard Owen shout after him. "Hold up!"

"Hey! What's up?"

"Up for a drink?"

"I actually-", he started to say, "had a long shift. I'm gonna.. head home and crash". He faked his disappointment.

"Oh. Okay. Maybe next time then", he smiled. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Great"

"You're thinking about her"

"I'm not", he rolled his eyes.

"You are. You should talk to her", he said as he tapped him on the shoulder before he left him think to himself.

He climbed into his Rover where he sat for a few minutes contemplating whether or not he should go to her. He finally started the car after he decided he would give it a shot. Worst case scenario she would lock him outside her apartment but at least she'd know he hadn't given up on them.

Nathan was nervous, really nervous. Last time he felt this way was the time he took his residency boards before he decided that nothing in the world will ever make him feel that way again. But Meredith did. Ever since she walked into his life, she made him feel all sorts of ways and he couldn't really complain. She was worth the sweat. His heart raced at the speed of light as he stood in the silent elevator making up a hundred possible scenarios in his head that are about to happen. He arrived at her doorstep, held his hand up and froze. What was he going to say anyway? Please forgive me for entering your private office and looking at your stuff? I'm sorry I looked at the photo with the mysterious guy? What was he supposed to say?

He let out a sigh before finally mustering the courage to get his hand to knock at her door. Knock knock knock. Then he waited. Maybe she's showering. Or sleeping, she must've had a long day and needs to rest. Or maybe-

"Hi", he heard her say after she showed up from behind the door. Her face was flushed. Still completely beautiful but really tired.

"H-hey", he said nervously.

"Umm.. Wanna come in?"

"Please", he smiled politely as she let him into the apartment.

He sat on the couch awkwardly while he watched her hesitantly move towards him like a stray cat.

"I'm sorry", he spoke up.

"I'm sorry too", she whispered back not looking into his eyes.

"I shouldn't have.. entered a room you didn't let me in"

"Nathan.. I overreacted. You wouldn't have known", she assured him as she looked at him softly.

"Anyway.. I'm sorry. Really really sorry, Mer"

He held her hands in his own as he looked into her eyes with his teary ones.

"It's okay", she moved her hand to gently stroke his face as she smiled. "I'm starving", she said bluntly despite the seriousness of the situation.

He immediately snorted at her comment and moved closer to plant a kiss on her cheek. "I'll fix up something for you"

"Okay"

She followed him to the kitchen where he investigated her empty fridge and cupboards for something viable to cook with.

"You need to get some grocery shopping done", he chuckled.

"I don't do shopping", she shrugged.

"Exactly my point"

"Amelia does it for me"

Nathan shook his head amusingly as he grabbed the phone. "I'll order takeout. What do you wanna have?"

"Mhm.. Pizza?"

He nodded with a smile as he moved between her legs where she was sat at the counter. He kissed her lips one last time before he dialed the number.

Things went better than he thought. An hour ago he was sick to his stomach thinking she wouldn't wanna see his face, and now they were laughing together over stuff that weren't even funny.

* * *

They sat there practically inhaling pizza on her couch. Her legs curled up underneath her as she reached over for her fifth maybe sixth slice of pizza grasping at air as he watched her with hidden amusement.

"Stoppp", she giggled.

"What?"

"Watching me eat. It makes me uncomfortable"

"I can't help it. I just.. find it impressive"

"Find what impressive?", she asked chewing on the large bite she took.

"How such a small person can accommodate six slices of pizza", he chuckled.

She put her slice down and moved to smack him on his chest. "You keep count of how many pizzas I eat now?"

He grabbed her by the wrists to protect himself from her tiny ineffectual fists. "It can't exactly go unnoticed", he laughed.

"You just lost your chance of getting laid tonight", she told him seductively as she got up on her feet and walked over to the kitchen to place the empty pizza boxes in the trash.

"Wait, I was gonna get laid tonight?", he asked immediately rising to his feet hovering behind her.

"Yes.. But not anymore", she teased.

He placed his beer on the counter before he walked towards her. Once behind her, he wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face in her hair. He tucked her hair to the other side planting kisses on her collar bone, her scent stirring something inside him. Lavender.

"N-no. No no no..", she gasped pulling away from his grip.

"I missed you", he murmured into her skin as he pressed her more firmly into him.

"Well.. too bad", she moaned back trying to focus her attention on stopping him but his lips felt so good on her now flushed skin.

"I need you", he whispered feeling her body surrender to his touch.

He moved them, maintaining their positions so that her hands grasped at the counter. His hands found her hips as she grinded them backwards into his hardness. His hands moved to unbotton her pants slipping between her thighs and settling at her dampness. "Holy fuck", he grunted. "You're so wet".

"I have been.. for the past week", she whimpered.

He heard her release a high pitched gasp for air once his thumb and forefinger found her clit. He gently started massaging her clit in circles just before he hooked another finger sliding it inside her, rubbing against her g-spot.

"G-god, Nathan!", she screamed feeling her own body trembling with pleasure.

"Yes, yes", he urged her, his free hand moving to his own pants freeing his member out of its confinements.

"Fuck yes", he heard her moan as he added more pressure to his thrusts feeling her walls tighten around his fingers. "Nathan, p-please"

"Please what?" , he teased seductively keeping a grip on her trembling body before replacing his fingers with the tip of his cock, his fingers still rubbing at her clit.

"p-please", she managed to say, "I need you inside me".

"I already am", he said drawing her attention to his fingers.

"Damn it, Nathan. I need your cock inside me. Now", she cried.

"Gladly", he groaned before he positioned himself between her legs and slipped into her. "Good?"

"Amazing", she breathed. "I want deep"

"Deep..deep", he panted in agreement as he attempted to open her legs wider with his own.

"Oh Mer..you..amazing", he groaned at the new depths, biting down on her neck. His hands moved along her hips as their rhythm steadied at a fast pace. Her moans were incredible, desperate and filled with desire keeping him wanting more.

"That's..that's it..yes", she gasped as her head fell back, her walls closing tightly around him, causing his body to tremble at the impact.

"God..", he panted. "I love fucking you"

"I love you fucking me", she giggled still struggling to catch her breath.

"I missed you"

"I missed you too"

She felt him slowly pull out of her before he reached out for a napkin to clean the mess they made.

"So.. do I have to worry?", she asked him as she put her clothes back on.

"About what?", he asked turning to face her.

"Well.. we haven't exactly been the best at using protection.. you know"

"Are you asking me if you should be worried I'd give you an STD?", he asked defensively.

She hesitated to answer. "Kinda?"

"Okay I haven't had sex for months before I met you. I don't even have the time to go out and get an STD!"

"Okay okay", she tried to calm him. "I'm just.. making sure"

He huffed in disbelief. "What makes me sure _I_ won't be given something?"

She laughed sarcastically. "Who said you should be?", she teased before she turned her back to him and walked towards her room.

"What is that supposed to mean?", he asked in shock as he followed behind.

"Nothing", she shrugged.

"Nothing? You just dropped the bomb on me that you might have something and now you won't talk?"

"I'm kidding! Jeez..", she rolled her eyes.

"So there's no one else?"

"Is that what this is about? Your jealousy?", she asked with a raised brow.

"What? I'm not jealous!"

"Uh-huh"

"I'm not!"

"Okay I believe you"

"Fine"

Meredith watched him busy himself with the buttons on his shirt. "Just to be clear, no, there's no one else", she told him.

"Okay.. me neither"

"Okay"

"Okay"

She moved towards him before she rose to her toes and planted a passionate kiss on his lips.

"Mhmm", he moaned into her mouth. "You know, we just had a fight"

"We did, didn't we?", she asked biting her lip seductively.

"and I heard make-up sex is the healthiest way to make up", he said raising his brow.

"So have I!", she giggled before she jumped him pushing him backwards onto the bed.

"Round two?"

"Round two."


	12. Chapter 12

Pulse racing, body trembling, blood pumping in her ears. Meredith cursed as she bolted up in bed, her skin damp with sweat as she struggled to catch her breath.

"Hey, shhh it's okay. I'm here", she heard Nathan whisper as he sat up to rub her back in small soothing circles. She must have woken him up by the violent jolts of her movements. "You just had a bad dream".

He notices her pants gradually slow down as she prepares to speak. "I'm okay", she assures him. "-just gonna go get some fresh air".

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"It's fine. Go back to sleep", she tells him before she plants a peck on his lips then jumps out of bed.

She goes out the balcony where it's still dark. 3:30ish am. That's when she usually has them. When the horrific images from that terrible night would strike her in her sleep. The shattered glass, the blood on the ground, the loud sounds of the sirens.. and his face. The face she had grown so used to, dripping with blood as his eyes shut closed. Those memories would hunt her rendering her sleep impossible. She stared at the sight of the city before her wondering what it would be like if it never happened. If she never got drunk that night. If she, for once, had taken responsibility and showed up to their date instead of driving him to babysit her like she always did. _What would her life be like right now?_

A firm set of hands wrapped around her waist startling her again. "Didn't mean to startle you", he said softly as he moved the hair out of her face and stood beside her. "Talk to me, Mer".

She looked into his genuine eyes for a few seconds before she moved her attention back to the view infront of them.

"About four years ago, I met this guy. Paul. The guy from the picture. He was.. perfect. Did everything perfectly, had a great job, was completely supportive of mine. And.. he was my patient. He had Appendicitis and they had me on his case", she started saying as she avoided his stares. "He was the kind of boyfriend every girl would wanna have, and I loved him. Wasn't exactly the best at showing it but I really did. The last couple of months we started having problems, at least I did, and I selfishly dragged him into all of them", she sighed. "I started ditching him when we made plans, showed up late at night and sometimes didn't even bother to. And it drove him.. crazy. Worried sick. He'd call a hundred times a day and then he'd find me in my usual place, the bar, drunk until I couldn't fathom where I was".

She carefully watched his facial expressions change as he listened attentively.

"Nine months ago, I had just lost a patient I've been treating for a couple of years.. and it made me feel.. angry?", her eyes started tearing up. "So I got drunk.. on our anniversary, and he ended up having to pick me from the bar as usual. But this time, we didn't make it home".

Nathan looked at her curiously. "A drunk driver hit the rear passenger seat where he was driving. He died immediately", she whispered, her eyes glittering with tears in the corner. "I just.. can't get the images out of my head. I don't really remember much of it. I just remember the car turning. Twice maybe three times. Paul.. when I opened my eyes, his face was the first thing I saw. Covered in gashes and blood", her voice started choking. "His chest was pinned under some metal and glass. I reached out to check for a pulse but he didn't couldn't find one".

She struggled to hold in her tears any longer as she inevitably broke down sobbing infront of him. Nathan immediately pulled her into his chest as he clutched her with desperate sympathy that threatened to eat him from the inside out. She was broken. He felt her tremble in his arms as she let out all what she has forced inside her from emotions for the past months out of her system. She couldn't help but feel relief, held safely in Nathan's arms. Any form of pain or guilt, any vision from the accident left her in that moment as she barely registered the soothing words he was mumbling into her ear. His hands rubbed her back, loosening her tense muscles as she gradually ran out of tears. She slowly pulled away from his grip staring at the floor before she felt him reach out to her face to wipe her tears with his fingers. Her eyes met his caring ones to which he accompanied with a soft smile.

"If I had just been sober that one night, if I just showed up instead of fucking it all up. It should've been me", she said between sniffs.

"Hey hey, look at me", he said as he held her face with his hands so that she was looking at him, "You did not do this. It was not your fault. It was the drunk driver's fault and you couldn't have done anything to prevent it. Don't do this to yourself, Mer. Don't blame yourself for something you didn't cause".

She nodded as she sniffed back the tears wiping them with back of he hand. "Thank you", she managed to whisper.

"You don't have to be".

* * *

"Hey!", Meredith said happily as she entered the attendings' lounge.

"Someone's happy", pointed out April confused by the unusual greeting Meredith just gave.

"I am", she said letting out a smile she's never been seen with before.

"Woke up on the right side of the bed, Grey?", teased Jackson.

"Hey, Let the girl be happy!", April smacked his arm.

"No. He can say whatever he wants. Cause nothing's gonna put me out of my good mood", she assured raising a brow as she walked out leaving them stunned.

"Hey! What was that about?", she heard Amelia ask as she ran behind her.

"Nothing.. I just figured.. life is too short to be spent miserably", she shrugged.

"No no. I know you. The Meredith Grey I know doesn't just figure out stuff like that. Something's up", she said with furrowed eyebrows. "Is it Nathan-related?"

"Nope"

"Your face twitched. Liar!"

"It didn't and I'm not!"

"What are we talking about?", asked Maggie as she barged in on the conversation.

"Meredith's smiling"

"She is! How is that?"

"That's the question. I'm guessing it has something to do with Nathan"

"The hottie mchottie?", asked Maggie. "I really wanna meet him."

"I'm standing right here!", snapped Meredith as the two spoke. "And Nathan isn't part of it!"

"Fine. I'll find out eventually", Amelia said before they exited the elevator and each went their separate ways.

Meredith hated to admit it, but it was Nathan-related. Last night he was amazing. Not at sex, that goes without saying, but also at being there for her. He had stayed up with her the rest of the night as she talked to him about Paul. He was completely understanding and was somehow able to get her to open up to him. For the first time in forever, she was able to breathe again. It felt good to talk about what happened. To be held tightly as she poured her heart out. Life was actually starting to feel good again. For the first time in forever.

"Heard the news?", asked Maggie as she set her tray on the table where Amelia, Alex, and Meredith were seated.

"What news?", asked alex.

"They're hiring a new cardio guy"

"They are?"

"Yep. I'm supposed to interview him after lunch. The chief said he's pretty impressive"

"He better be", said Amelia as she chewed on her fries.

"Speaking of which", Maggie said as she glanced at her pager before getting up. "He's here".

"Good luck", said Meredith cheerfully causing Amelia and Alex to shake their heads.

* * *

"Amelia! Need to talk to you", yelled Maggie awkwardly from behind them as she motioned at her with her head to meet her privately.

Amelia and Meredith looked at each other in confusion. "Okay..", said Amelia leaving Meredith standing alone. "That was mean", she frowned once she was alone with maggie in an on-call room. "What's up?"

"It's Nathan"

"What's Nathan?"

"The new cardio guy. I just interviewed him, Amelia".

" _Nathan_ Nathan?"

"Yes. _Nathan_ Nathan. _Nathan Riggs_ ", she rolled her eyes.

"Does Mer know?", she asked surprisingly.

"Apparently not! That's why I'm telling you to figure out a way to tell her"

"Why would he not tell her?"

"I don't know! The idiot thinks its a nice surprise"

"Mer won't think it is, that's for sure", Amelia shook her head.

"So.. should we tell her?"

"No! I definitely am _not_ going to!"

"Tell me what?", they heard someone say from behind them.

"Mer! Hey! What're you doing here?", Amelia smiled awkwardly.

"What are you guys not telling me?"

They both sighed. "Fine. But just know, that we had nothing to do with it", warned Maggie.

"Okay, whatever.."

"Nathan is the new cardio guy", Maggie said almost too quickly.

"What?"

"He wanted to surprise you, so he applied for the job, and I was just interviewing him back there. His resume is pretty impressive by the way".

Meredith didn't reply. She immediately left the room leaving the two of them stunned as she prepared to burst out. _Someone was in trouble._

 **Review please!**


	13. Chapter 13

Meredith was angry. Fuming, actually. Flicking away a stray strand of hair with aggression as she stomped off to where she expected him to be. Although she was seconds away from killing him, part of her was actually excited. He was going to be working with her. Which meant they would be spending plenty much time together. Before they would only see each other at night, when they both finished their shifts at their different workplaces. Now they would get to meet at the attendings' lounge, the cafeteria, in the hallways, and most importantly in on-call rooms. This was going to be so much fun.

Nathan walked out of the chief's office after being assigned the new cardiotheracic sugeon at Grey-Sloan memorial. He had planned this out as a surprise for Meredith but after having talked to Maggie, he wasn't so sure she would be happy about it. Maggie let him know that Meredith hated surprises. She especially hated when people in her life made huge decisions that involved her without letting her know. He was in deep shit. Yet he couldn't help but smile.

"You asshole!", he heard her yell as soon as he closed the door to the chief's office. "You fucking asshole!"

"Ouch!", he winced feeling her tiny ineffectual fists punch him in the chest as he successfully held them back.

"What were you thinking?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Taking the job! Applying for it in the first place! Didn't you think it was something we should've discussed first?"

"No"

"No?", she asked surprisingly.

"No because knowing you, you would've said you didn't want me to take it", he shrugged. "Mer, this is good. It's good for me, it's good for you. It's good for us", he winked. "There are already so many places I wanna fuck you in".

"That's not the point!", she snapped. "You're already making these decisions on your own and it hasn't even been a month since we started dating".

"I'm sorry, Mer. I guess I just didn't think it through that way", he said genuinely. "I won't do it again. If it'd make you feel any better I would go back in there-"

"-no. Just.. talk to me next time".

"I will. I promise", he smiled as his hand moved to her face stroking her cheek.

"Thank you", she replied. "So what was that you were saying about wanting to fuck me all over the place?"

"Oh yeah", he licked his lips seductively. "I've been told the on-call rooms here are pretty.. spacious".

"They are", she raised a brow. "Want a tour?"

"After you, Dr. Grey"

"Meredith smirked as she lead the way sensing his eyes on her ass.

"Meredith!", they heard the chief call out from behind them interrupting their plans.

"Chief!", Meredith smile politely.

"I see you met Dr. Riggs"

"Oh. Yeah, we've.. um.. worked together before"

"I'd say we've done more than that", she heard Nathan mutter under his breath as she nudged his arm.

"You have?", Richard said as he put his hand on Nathan's shoulder proudly. "He's our new cardiotheracic surgeon".

"So I've been told", she faked her excitement. "Looking forward to having you around Dr. Riggs".

"Likewise", he smiled back. "So, shall we continue our tour?"

"Yeah yeah, sure. Chief", Meredith nodded at Richard.

"Don't let me interrupt", Richard said before he watched the two doctors walk away.

"So.. Where were we?", Nathan smiled watching her attempts at looking professional as they passed by a group of nurses who were eyeing them.

"I was just about to show you how comfy the on-call room beds are", she winked seductively once they were alone in the hallway.

"Oh please do", he groaned.

"Meredith grabbed his arm and pulled him into the first on-call room she saw. As soon as they were inside, Nathan shut the door pinning her petite body against it.

"I'm still mad at you", she said as she felt his mouth attack her collarbone.

"Well I guess I'm gonna have to make it up to you", he panted pulling away before he resumed to her hungry lips. "God, I need you".

"You can have me".

Nathan lifted her off the ground as she wrapped her legs around his waist. He felt her lips peck at his neck, her hands slowly traveling down his body. He laid her down on the empty bed watching her as she immediately got rid of her scrub top revealing the black bra underneath.

"Dammit you're sexy", he said quickly unclasping her bra. "I need those in my mouth".

Meredith watched as Nathan strategically cupped her breasts with his hands before flicking her nipples with his wet tongue. His hot breath tickled her skin and she found herself freeing him from his pants as she sneaked her hands to unzip him. His hard member peeked out before she stroked him earning a loud groan out of him.

"Shhh you're gonna get us caught"

"I want inside", he panted feeling her hands tighten around him. He moved one of his hands away from her breasts to her center. The moan of appreciation that came from deep within her evident as she bucked her hips against his fingers. He immediately shifted her roughly and pushed into her. "God, yes.."

"Fuck.. you feel so good", she gasped before he kissed her lips hungrily.

"Hmmm", he groaned against her lips as he rocked harder and deeper into her. He felt her fist her hands in his hair as she panted out words he couldn't fathom.

"H-harder, faster", she moaned. "God.."

"Yes, yes.. Harder", he echoed as he shifted her hips slightly, placing her calve on his shoulder for a deeper angle.

"Oh fuck.. fuck.. Nathan", she gasped at how amazing he felt pounding relentlessly into her. "I'm c-close".

"Me too baby.. Oh god".

She watched his face as he looked down at the way his cocked moved in and out of her before she felt him empty into her.

"Fuck.. That was..", he panted.

"Mindblowing", she said as she bit her lip.

"Wow"

"Yeah"

"Amazing", he murmured as his head collapsed against her shoulder before he fell on his back beside her. "I already love it here".

"That was welcome sex", she giggled. "Don't get used to it".

"You say that now", he chuckled as he watched her get up and start getting dressed. "What's the rush?"

"I have patients to check on".

"Right", he pouted before he attempted to get dressed himself.

"So.. welcome to Grey-Sloan!", she said with a cheerful smile before she exited the room leaving him naked from the waist down.

Nathan chuckled to himself. _This was going to be fun_.

 **Sorry for the late/short chapter. I've been busy with college and stuff but hopefully I'll be posting a couple more updates this week.**

 **Please review!**


	14. Chapter 14

It had been a few hours since she left him naked in the on-call room. She had just finished her consults and was about to go ask him if he'd join her for lunch. She walked through the empty hallways passing by the nurse's station when she heard it. Loud and clear.

".. We haven't had a doctor like that since Sloan. Have you seen his arms?", one of the nurses exclaimed.

"My friend used to work with him at Mercy West, she said he's single", another teased making the others cheer like horny highschool girls.

"I can help him with that", suggested Olivia with a raised brow.

She couldn't believe it. It wasn't even his first day there and the nurses were already falling for him.

"Don't mean to interrupt your little gossip party here but Mr. Olsen in 205 needs to be prepped for discharge", Meredith hissed.

"Roght on it Dr. Grey", nodded Olivia as she got up and walked away.

It was mean. She knew it was yet she couldn't help it. Although she would never admit it to him, she somehow felt possessive of him. She picked up her cellphone and texted him to meet her in the cafeteria.

* * *

"Hey sexy!", she heard him say as he sat on the chair infront of her.

"Shh keep it down", she warned him.

"Okay", he whispered confused by her unexpected attitude. "What happened?"

"Nothing happened."

"Right."

"What?"

"Nothing. It's just that you're obviously pissed at something."

"I'm not", she insisted.

"Okay."

She felt bad. He was concerned about her and she just shut him down. She knew she had no right to be mad at him but it was out of her hand.

She coughed slightly attempting to start a conversation. "So umm, the nurses are pretty fond of you", she said as she picked up a french fry from her plate and shoved it in her mouth. "Already leaving a good impression?"

"They are?", he asked with a raised brow.

"Yep", she sighed. "I actually heard them talk about you".

"What did they say?", he looked at her amusingly realizing the reason behind her sudden anger.

"That you were hot. And _single_ ", she shook her head letting out a sarcastic chuckle.

"Oh"

"Yeah?"

"That's no reason to be mad", he smiled.

"What?", she asked defensively.

"You're cute when you're jealous."

"I'm not jealous! Why would I be?"

"Because the nurses think I'm hot."

"So?"

"So, you want me all to yourself", he chuckled.

"Uh.. Yeah okay..", she rolled her eyes. "You're so full of yourself".

"Yet you love me."

There was suddenly an awkward silence where they both remained quiet staring at their respective trays. Did he just say _love_ me? He blurted it out without thinking and now she was probably gonna freak out and push him away. Although he did feel that way towards her, he was willing to take baby steps which meant it was way too early for him to tell her these words. During his short time with her, he had learned to be extremely cautious with his choice of words around her. She was like a wild deer in the woods and any wrong move would scare her away.

"So", he started to say, "-do you wanna come over to my place tonight?"

"Um, alot of paperwork to get done", she replied. "I'd rather not".

"Okay."

"I should.. get back to work."

Meredith rose out of her seat leaving, yet again, a disappointed Nathan behind. Nathan sighed, rubbing his forehead as he watched her walk away. "Stupid", he muttered to himself.

* * *

Meredith Grey was the queen of avoidance. She was way too good at avoiding confrontations and she did so way too often. It had been a whole 24 hours since she'd seen Nathan or at least talked to him and she wasn't willing to do so anytime soon. It wasn't really a big deal. She knew she was being dramatic but stuff like that brought back memories she wasn't exactly fond of. Last night he had texted her asking her how she'd been and she answered with a simple "fine" and a "goodnight". Today; however, she had managed to keep out of his sights where she spent the entire day taking over boring surgeries just to remain unseen. But she didn't wanna do it anymore. She missed him. She missed his voice, she missed his smile, and she missed the smell of his aftershave. Which was why she was gonna go see him. She looked over at the OR board looking if he was in surgery which he wasn't. He was probably somewhere in the attendings lounge or in an on-call room getting some sleep.

"Maggie!", she called out after her sister. "Have you seen Riggs?"

"Yeah. He was in the lounge like 30 minutes ago, why?", she teased raising her brow.

"Nothing", Meredith shrugged. "Just.. haven't seen him all day."

"Yeah he's been really busy. We were operating on a baby today. His hands are pretty impressive. But I guess you already know that", she chuckled.

"Shut up", Meredith rolled her eyes. "I'll go see him".

"Kay. Have fun!"

* * *

She didn't usually do that. Be the one to apologize after a fight. Well it wasn't really a fight but she'd call it that for now. When she was with Paul, she'd pull the same shit on him and he'd be the one to mend things between them. But things were different now. Or at least they felt so. Cause Nathan was not Paul and she had made an oath to better herself. She walked through the hallways trying to come up with the right things to say when she saw him coming out of the room, his eyes fixating on hers.

"H-", she started to say just as he interrupted her.

"I'm sorry I freaked you out."

"No. You said nothing wrong."

"I knew you weren't ready for that yet I said it anyway. My tongue slipped and I wasn't thinking-"

"Nathan, you didn't-", she shook her head. "I made a big deal out of it and I shouldn't have. Yes, we're moving way too fast and yes I'm not ready to say or be told those words yet but it doesn't mean I don't feel.. something. I don't want you to feel like you're walking over eggshells around me.. I'm sorry."

He watched the blood rush through her cheeks as she attempted to hide her nervousness by tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Okay", he whispered simply.

"Okay", she smiled back.

"So.. I made friends today."

"Ooh", she said amusingly, "who are they?"

"Hmm..so there's Ryan from dermatology-"

"-You made friends from magical world?", she laughed.

"From what?"

"The dermatology department. Magical world. You know.. every attending and resident has a personal massage therapist to work on their hands whenever they have down time.. water with raspberries flowing freely, and the residents all seem happy and relaxed.. _Magical world_ "

"Oh I get it now", he chuckled. "so will that influence our friendship?"

"I don't know, I guess it's a good thing. He'll radiate positive energy into you", she nodded.

"I could use some positive energy", he laughed.

"Well then I say go for it."

"We're actually going out for drinks tonight. Wanna join?"

"I'll pass", she said almost immediately faking disappointment.

"Your loss."

"Come over after, maybe?"

"Sure. I'll bring some takeway and we could have dinner and a movie".

"Sounds good", she nodded. "So I'll see you tonight".

"Yeah. See ya".

 **Review please :)**


	15. Chapter 15

After the year she had, Meredith had never expected to be happy again. She had given up on all hope of ever falling in love again and finding someone who made her feel the way he did. Yet here she was. Sitting on his kitchen countertop watching attentively as he cooked her dinner.

"So what are you making me again?", she said as she sipped on the glass of champagne he gave her, swinging her legs from where she was seated.

"Pot roast", he smiled. "the best you'll ever have".

"Mhm. I hope so".

He walked over to grab a plate from the cupboard over her head, planting a quick kiss on her lips before he went back to cooking. "What're you thinking about?"

"I don't know", she shrugged. "It's just that I just realized you've never told me anything about yourself."

"What do you wanna know?"

She hesitated for a second before she spoke up. "Have you ever been in love before?"

He kept quiet for a while staring at the pan infront of him as he stirred its contents. "You could say that."

"You don't have toA

"No. I owe you it to you to tell you.. You deserve to know.", he said firmly before grabbing a chair and sitting across from her.

He took a deep breath as he busied himself with his wrists before looking up at her to see her watching him quietly. "Her name was Megan", he started to say. "She was a battlefield surgeon too. I met her while working in Jordan, actually. I.. loved her. So much. She was it for me. It only took a year before I proposed and she said yes and I became the happiest man alive. Her brother was my best friend, she was the love of my life.. it worked perfectly. But then things started to change. We started fighting.. over everything, all the time. It was like our relationship became toxic, and it made each of us miserable.. and tired of trying so hard to make things work. And then I messed up. Real bad."

She looked at him confused, a million thoughts coming to her mind.

"I cheated", he said.

"Oh."

"I was stupid.. and drunk.. God I still can't forgive myself for it", he breathed choking back the tears as she kept quiet.

"You must think I'm a horrible person-"

She shook her head slightly, "It's not my place to judge". But she did. She was angry. Although it was not her he cheated on, she was furious. She was furious for his ex and couldn't help but think that it could have been her. It could be her. Nothing he'd say could justify what be did and at this point she didn't wanna be there anymore.

"You do."

Meredith sighed. "I'm sorry. I just.. How? How could-", she shook her head. "If you loved her, you wouldn't have cheated on her. There shouldn't have been any voids to fill".

"And there wasn't!", he said. "There doesn't pass a day that I don't hate myself for it. I know that nothing makes it okay.. I'm aware of that..", he wiped his eyes. "The feeling of guilt a-and hate that I've been feeling for the past four years.. I think I deserve it all. I know I fucked up, and I hate myself for it".

He looked miserable and she couldn't help the feeling of sympathy towards him. He's been obviously beating himself up for what he did and although she was mad at him, she came down from the counter and walked over to him rubbing his shoulders gently. "I'm sorry", she said softly. "It must be horrible for you."

"That's not it", he whispered. "She left. And never came back."

"What?"

"When she found out, she got on a helicopter and the helicopter didn't make it to its destination. She never came back", he said as he broke down into tears.

She had never seen him like this. She came close to him rubbing his back slowly as his breaths slowed down. She was terrible at this. Didn't exactly know what to say. When she broke down infront of him, he somehow managed to say the right things to calm her down yet here she was, standing hopelessly beside as he poured his heart out to her.

"I'm sorry", she said again watching him as he struggled to breathe properly.

"I...I...", Nathan tried not to gasp as his chest tightened.

"You're...it's okay," she said carefully. "You're okay. Nathan."

"Megan... she-," he breathed, his eyes suddenly popping open, full of anguish, his body shaking.

"Hey hey", she said firmly forcing his eyes on her. "You're having a panic attack. It's okay. You're okay. Just take a deep breath".

Nathan nodded his head before he inhaled as much as his lungs could handle. His hand moved to his shoulder to clasp with Meredith's as she continued guiding him patiently.

"That's it", she whispered.

"Th-thank-"

"Don't talk yet," she ordered softly. "Don't talk until...you have to breathe, Nathan. It helps it go away."

"I...Okay..." he breathed deeply. "Okay."

It took him a few minutes for his breathing to stabilize and his body to stop shuddering.

"I messed up, Mer", he said regretfully. "I failed the woman I loved. I made a mistake. A big one. And I've paid for it ever since".

"I know", she nodded. "I know".

"Thank you, Mer", he whispered.

"For what?"

"Being here. Helping me. You're good at it".

"Oh", she shrugged. "You're welcome".

He got up from his chair adjusting the top of his shirt. "You must be starving", he chuckled causing her to let out his favorite giggle.

"Mhmm. Something like that".

"I'm almost done".

"Okay. I'll just prepare the table then".

"Should I trust you with that?", he joked as he watched her struggle to reach the shelve of plates.

"Ass!"

* * *

Dinner was good. Nathan was indeed a good cook which Meredith was more than happy with considering the fact she had very little experience in the kitchen. Nathan found it humorous that the last time she cooked was back in her intern years, far before she had any roommates to cook for her. She was something else and she never failed to surprise him the more he got to know her. He watched her as she sat across from him rambling something he couldn't quite comprehend as he was mesmerized by how beautiful she looked. He could tell from the spark in her eyes that she was so deep caught in what she was saying.

"-I mean right?", she suddenly questioned him to which he struggled to come up with an excuse to why he hadn't been following up with her.

"Yeah", be sighed nervously. "Yeah".

"Yeah?", she asked in confusion. "Yeah what?"

He looked at her as she amusingly crossed her arms and looked at him with a raised eyebrow waiting for his response.

"Um. Dessert?"

"No no no. I've been pouring my heart out here for a good 15 minutes and you weren't even listening. That, is _not_ okay!"

"I'm sorry, Mer! I got.. distracted, I guess".

"Oh well-!", she answered childishly as she got up from her chair.

"Where are you going?", he followed her immediately trapping her in his arms. "We haven't had dessert yet", he breathed against her collarbone, his hot breath tickling her ear.

She laughed sarcastically as she attempted to free herself from his grip. "No dessert for you!"

"Oh come on. I know dessert is your favorite", he teased as he ran his hands along her belly.

"You should've thought of that before you completely ignored what I was saying".

"Let me make it up to you"

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes"

He finally managed to get her to give in to him as his fingers traveled into her pants causing her to let out a deep moan.

"You were saying?", he whispered playfully.

"Fuck me".

"My pleasure", he chuckled.

He lifted her up by her thighs before gliding her onto his still covered hard on placing her on the couch, his mouth never leaving her skin.

"Please...please..." Her hips bucked wildly against him as she moved her legs to push his pants down before she grabbed his member with her hand giving it gentle strokes.

"Fuck, Mer, you just..." he breathed, sucking at her nipple. "Right there."

He kissed her violently, his tongue desperately seeking entrance into her mouth.

"Mer..." he groaned, his lips bruising against hers.

His mouth moved to her nipple clamping around her it again, harder than before and she shouted as pain and pleasure rocked through her body. In one swift motion, he thrusted hard into her with no warning, his mouth partially open, gasping for breath as he pulled out and then quickly slammed into her again. Her hips bucked wildly against his swollen cock encouraging him to go deeper.

"Yes, yes," she sighed, her fingernails scratching gently at his chest, going deeper into his skin as he hit deep within the walls of her center. "God, Nathan!"

"Mhmm. You...you come," he murmured as he moved downward to kiss her deeply, chewing on his lip.

"C-close. Fuck", she moaned running her fingers through his hair yanking slightly.

"Holy...wow...wow..." he breathed deeply as he felt her walls tighten around his pulsating cock.

"Oh shit.. fuck..fuck.. fuck," she moaned as his body bucked against hers and he filled her as she trembled underneath him.

"W-wow", he panted

"Yeah"

"Amazing"

"Yeah".

He turned onto his side and he wrapped his arms around her. "You're amazing", he smiled studying her features.

"Thank you", she replied softly before she took his mouth onto hers.

"Mhm. I could stay like this forever", he sighed.

"Me too".

 **Review to keep me motivated :))**


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